So much good

First, I want to thank you so much for the outpouring of love and support on my last post.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me.  I have received countless emails from many of you sharing your story.  I promise to try and respond to all of you soon.  We were devastated last week but now we feel so much hope and optimism about the future.  

We had a busy but fun filled weekend! I think it helped us get back on track! 

Saturday morning was very special because our dear friend Timesia graduated from a Live Strong program and she invited the girls and I to attend.  My girls LOVE Timesia.  It was so inspiring to hear survivor stories from 12 people who had beat cancer and were on their way to a better, stronger life.  We were so honored to be apart of the morning.

We ran home, ate lunch and changed into princess dresses to celebrate our friend E on her birthday! I cracked up that of all the princess dresses we own, Harper picked Pocahantas.  I was not surprised.  We had a great time at the party.

We got home just in time to watch the Razorbacks play the Aggies that for about 80% of the game looked like we might actually win but in true Arkansas fashion we lost in over time.  UGH.  

Saturday night Harper was chosen to be a "future miss" in the local high school pageant.  Each contestant chooses a Kindergarten - 2nd grader that they think would make a great Miss BHS one day to escort them.  Harper was SOOOO excited about it! 

I thought she looked adorable.  Who knows - she might be on that stage again in 10 years! 

Little sister was happy to support! We had a lot of fun.  Even Scott. ha! 

 Harper had to bring out a rose for her contestant - our friend Madison - and then curtsy and wave.  Here she is mid curtsy.  

I was actually blown away by these girls in the pageant.  They were so poised and I kept thinking these 17 year olds put this 40 year old to shame.  They were SOOOO talented.  Many had aspirations for Ivy League schools or to go to NYC to pursue dance or theatre or planned to be doctors.  They had traveled the world learning languages and doing mission work.  

Madison got in the top 5 and was Miss Photogenic.  We were so proud of her! Harper LOVED it.  She wanted to get back on stage.  

Saturday was fun but the highlight of the weekend was today.  It was our annual DNOW weekend which is a HUGE weekend for youth.  About 300 or more youth stay in host homes and spend all weekend learning about God and doing service projects (and having fun).  We helped with baptisms this morning and it was a worship service all to it's own.  We had 14 people get baptized including a family who were all saved together and an exchange student who just came to America last month an atheist and she came to DNOW and found Jesus.  I wish you could have seen the light in her eyes when I talked to her about it.  She told me her best friend from home was an exchange student in GA and she had gotten saved too.  She said "we are going to study the Bible together and I can't wait".  

Hard

We received some tough news this week.  News we didn't expect.

After our last audiology appointment when I left disappointed to hear that hearing aids weren't helping Harper like we hoped, our therapist who works for Arkansas Children's also met with our audiologist.  They reviewed her history and charts and made a discovery.

And when we went to therapy on Wednesday, our therapist sat me down and discussed what they found with me.

Harper's hearing has gradually but dramatically declined over the last three years.  This was one of my fears I have had hidden deep inside.

Because her hearing has declined so much over just three years, they believe Harper will eventually lose all of her hearing.

(and this is where I pretty much lost it).


There is just such a difference between moderate hearing loss and wearing hearing aids and Harper completely going deaf.


And I want to push pause here and say that we KNOW and are SOOO aware and thankful that hearing loss or deafness is NOT the end of the world.  We are thankful every day just to have Harper here with us.  We know there are families everywhere that WISH all they had to deal with is deafness.  And I give myself that perspective often. And we in no way want to compare ourselves with people who are facing incredibly hard things.

But I can't pretend that this isn't hard. For us.

Harper will have so many more struggles and obstacles than we had imagined.

Our plan now is to just monitor her decline and at some point we will pursue cochlear implants.  I'm incredibly thankful for the miracle of modern medicine and that Harper will be able to hear no matter what.  And she has already developed language skills and has almost normal speech and this will just continue.

We have had a lot of tears at our house. I cried for two straight days and then woke up with a lot of hope.  I hate that Harper will have to work harder at life.  I hate that she will have struggles.  But I went to a Breast Cancer fundraising lunch on Thursday and Amy Purdy was the speaker.  Amy lost both of her legs to an illness and went on to win snowboarding in the Olympics and was runner-up on Dancing with the Stars.  She talked about how challenges can often be blessings.  She said you learn to be creative and work harder but you can do things you would never imagine.  And I know that will be Harper.

I know God is not surprised.  He has a plan for Harper and I feel like he is going to weave an amazing story through all of this.  There are going to be things that frankly SUCK that she will have to face but God gave her a personality and resilience that can take this one with ease.  I don't know many people that can handle this as well as she can.  She has an inner joy that always shines and complete hearing loss won't break that.

We also know that so much of how the outcome will be for Harper depends on how we as parents handle this. We don't want her to know we are sad. We want to encourage her. She doesn't know and won't know until it comes to a point where we need to talk about it. 

We know God could heal her. We read in Mark 7:31-37 that God can heal the deaf. But we pray more for His will in her life. I don't want to interfere with something amazing He might have for her. We so often draw closest to God during tough times and this may be what makes Harper cling to God the most.  I've prayed often that I won't stand in the way of things God wants to use to bring the girls to Him.  I'm not the rescuer.  HE IS. 

I want to share Harper's story to encourage those who may walk on this road.  But I would also love to hear from any if you who may have experienced something similar and who got CI's.  If you would email me, I would SO love to talk to you.  Or invite you to dinner.  :-)

One of my good friends shared this song with me for Harper. It's been on repeat this week and I share it with any of you who are facing hard things. God can make you Brave even when you are scared to death.

Because I am.  A little.

But I have a big God who knew Harper's name before I was even born.  Before time began.  And He knows the order of her steps.  She's not mine.  I have the honor of raising her but she belongs to Him.

And I'm trusting in that. 

Friday Favorites

I thought today since I'm taking a break from SUYL - I would link up with some other bloggers Erica, Narci, and Andrea on their Friday Favorites.

Here are some of my favorite things this Friday!!!

1.   OCTOBER

In just 4 short months we get to my favorite month! October is full of amazing weather, beautiful trees, good fall TV and football!! And we have so many fun things planned - the pumpkin patch and school carnivals.  I just love fall.

2.  Wal-Mart pickup

We have a revolutionizing new thing here in Bentonville.  They are trying out a Wal-Mart online grocery shopping and pickup.  You just go online and order everything you want, pull into a stall much like at Sonic and they bring the groceries out to you!!! All mommas with little kids in the winter are saying AMEN!!!!! I think I'm the last of my friends to try it but everyone is RAVING!

3.   In this House we will giggle

My friend Courtney (who brought you those amazing ABC scripture cards) has just released her first book.  And it's so fun! And will inspire you so much! You can pre-order it here! 

4.  

I love family Halloween themes.  We have one planned for this year.  And then we may have to give it up and let the girls decide after that.  Thankfully the girls were pretty excited about their costumes for this year so it works!! 

Hope you have a good Friday!!!!!!

What I learned at Dot Mom

I had a lot of you ask me what Dot Mom is exactly.  So I thought I would talk a little more about it and share a little of what I gleaned from it.

First of all.......the name is a little deceiving.  This is not a blog conference.  Actually it has NOTHING to do with blogging. This is a conference put on by Lifeway designed to encourage and equip moms from a Biblical perspective.  I think the "dot mom" title confuses people.  It's my favorite conference (and I'm not really a huge conference girl) because the speakers and the breakout sessions are all centered around giving you practical information to help you be a better mom and wife.  Sometimes you just need someone to say "you are doing okay" and "here are some ideas of how to do things even better".

I thought I would share a little of what I learned to maybe give you a glimmer of it.  I heard so many great speakers and took so many notes but I want to share two of my favorite take aways with you.

There are breakout sessions on topics from everything like "Adoption", "Homeschooling", "Marriage and sex", "Single mothers", "Anxiety", "Infertility", "Discovering your personal ministry", "The art of nurturing boys", "Reconciling loss and a loving God", "Medical discernment for the Mommy", and a ton more.  I had a hard time deciding which to go to.

One of my favorite breakouts was led by a lady named Karen Alexander-Doyle.  Laurie had heard her at the last Dot mom and has raved about her ever since.  She has an amazing testimony. She was married to a pastor who was killed when her 3 sons where teens.  She has had several terminal cancers and continues to survive.  She speaks on discipline.  She taught on both preventative and corrective discipline.  It was SOOO helpful to me.

In Preventative Discipline, She broke down one of my favorite scriptures on parenting, Deuteronomy 6:5-9, which basically talks about using God's word and teaching your kids in every aspect of your life.  She broke it down so literally and I plan to apply so much of it.

 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The verses says "When you sit in your house" and she applied that to meal time.  She said they quit spending dinner time griping about things in their day and instead they could only talk about what God did for them that day (she said but it was still good to have a vent time later in the day).  She said her sons began to say positive things about each other and fighting began to diminish.   She also talked about what her kids heard her saying on the phone or watching on the TV.  They are watching and learning from us.

The verse says "when you walk" and she spoke of letting your kids help you in ministry.  She said it's easy to make a meal for someone and make your kids stay out of the way while you do it, but she would invite her boys to help and talk to them about why they were making the meal for a family and then take them with her to deliver.  (I love this because my parents modeled ministry to me and it's something that's so natural to me now and I want to pass on to my girls).

The verse says "when you lie down" and she said one of the best things she ever did as a parent is every night she would lay down with her boys in their bed at bedtime (from a young age through the teen years) and asked them about the happiest part of their day and the hardest part of the day.  She said it was amazing what they would share when it was dark and they felt safe. And she had an open line of communication with her boys because of that time.  It was easy to want to rush them to bed and not do this but it was worth the time and effort.

Then she went on to talk about the other verses by saying your home should point to Christ.  Work with your kids on memorizing scripture and learning application.  Tell them every day you love them.

Karen just had so much wisdom and advice.  You can read more about her here.

We also heard from Steve and Debbie Wilson who do marriage conferences.  They talked a lot about expectations in a marriage.  And how unspoken, unrealistic and unmet expectations can cause so many problems in a marriage.  It's so important to communicate.  (By the way - if you are looking for marriage speakers or a marriage conference to go to - I can't recommend them enough).

And Angie Smith (who I love dearly) shared about the need for control in parenting and went to two Bible Stories - the story of Moses and his mom who gave him up to be used by God and Hannah who gave up Samuel to be used by God and how it's so hard to let go of our grip and trust God with our kids.  It hit me RIGHT where I needed it.

I don't know if they will have another Dot Mom or not, but if they do - I will for sure let you know in advance because if you are a mom, you need to plan to go.  I promise you won't come home empty handed.  No blog, no social media needed! :-)

Dot Mom

It's been a while.  I've been gone!!!!

On Wednesday I left town with my two of my best friends to go to Dot Mom.  We drove to Memphis and spent the night with Laurie's in-laws for the night.  They were so sweet and welcoming to us! 

Laurie and I found out Jenn had never had Chili's chips and salsa???? How is that even possible? I will say in her defense that she grew up in California where apparently it wasn't a thing? Here in Arkansas - it's like a staple to your diet.  And apparently in Texas everyone adds a side of ranch??? We introduced her to it Wednesday night and she loved it. 

Thursday we drove to Nashville and met up with our friend Ashley at the hotel.  Then we headed to downtown Franklin for the rest of the day.  I wish we would have had a full day there.  I LOVED Franklin.  LOVED IT.  It reminded me of a much bigger Bentonville.  We hit a bunch of shops and antique stores and had fun browsing. 

Everyone on Instagram suggested we eat at Puckett's and they were NOT WRONG!!! I haven't had fried catfish in forever so I went for it.  I think it was the biggest piece I've ever had.  So good! 

 And in music city fashion there was live music.   It was just a great night.  

I need like a week in Nashville. 

Friday, Dot Mom started.  It is SUCH a great conference.  The speakers are amazing and it's full of practical information.  We went out to eat with my friend Heather and Shay and Erica.  It was fun to visit with them.  It was also Jenn's birthday.  I told her how fun to celebrate with dinner with strangers. ha!  Last year she had chemo and shaved her head on her birthday so she had no where to go but up this year. 

I was ecstatic to see my friend Keely.  She works for Compassion and I love that we get to connect from time to time.  She is one of my favorite people.  (I know I have a habit of saying everyone is my favorite - but it's the truth.  I just have a LOT of favorites.)

 So fun seeing my friend Courtney (on the left).  She is such an encouraging mom and writer.  She has a new book coming out that you are going to love.  More on that later.  

We went back to the conference on Saturday.  It ended at 4:30 and we knew we wanted to go to Nordstrom because we don't have one in Arkansas.  So we went to a mall and shopped and ate.  We were all so tired.   We got up and drove home early yesterday.  It's about a nine hour drive so I was WORN OUT when we got home and went almost straight to bed after hugging my girls a million times.   We somehow managed to hit six states on our drive.  We went through Tennessee and Arkansas and a corner of MS but on the way back we came through KY, MO and IL.  (Which seems to make no sense geographically but it was actually quicker than driving through TN and AR).

There is a rumor this was the last Dot MOM but I'm hoping they change their mind.  If you ever get a chance - you need to go.  So much practical info on mothering and marriage.  And I loved getting to hear Angie Smith and Jennie Allen.  Such a blessing to me!

Some stuff

Just a few random things on a Wednesday! 

My friend Shay is starting a new thing on her food blog where she is taking people's favorite recipes and mixing them up! I shared one of my favorite fall recipes with her and she is making it her own today! 

The winner of the Cute door hanger of your choice is Rhiannon Goshorn.  You should have an email from me! 

and I'm leaving today for a little extended girls trip with two of my best friends to Nashville for Dot Mom.  We are meeting up with several other friends and I can't wait! So thankful for this little "mom" getaway!  And my girls are in heaven to have their grandparents here to play with them all week! 

Crowns and Clothes

I'm having a little bit of a Miss America hangover this morning.  :-) 

Now I know that a lot of you don't like pageants or agree with them (you don't have to argue your point - I get it!!!) .  But I LOVE Miss America. I can't help it - I've watched since I was a little girl.  I love the talent portion the most.  And last night's pageant was a lot of fun.  (and I got a little obnoxious on twitter live tweeting - but it's like watching the pageant with tons of girlfriends in the room). 

I know I'm biased but Miss Arkansas did so wonderful! I was so proud she sang a song about Jesus in the pageant! And she carried herself well.  I loved a lot of the contestants.  Miss Mississippi was just gorgeous and I'm dying that Miss MA was a Harvard dentist and a talented pianist.  It was also fun to show Harper that Miss Michigan wore hearing aids.  She was so thrilled by that.  And can we talk about how cute Miss Ohio was with her ventriloquist dummy singing Mary Poppins? HIGHLIGHT! 

I'm a little suspicious of Miss New York winning three years in a row.  I'm going to leave it at that. 

But it was a fun night on twitter.  I love when things like the Oscars or the Olympics or the Super Bowl are on and twitter is a running commentary.  It always makes it more entertaining. 

And probably most of you  could care less about pageants or twitter, right?  ha! 

Speaking of Arkansas, did I mention my Razorbacks beat Texas Tech this weekend? Whoo Pig! 

Our weekend was pretty quiet outside of church, football and Miss America.  I got to shop a HUGE consignment sale in our area early on Friday and it was a lot of fun.  If you live in NWA - you need to hit up Rhea Lana this week.  They are re-stocking today I think and it's such a great way to fill the closets for your kids for so much less.  I try to go every year.

I found so many cute brands like crew cuts and Persnickety and Matilda Jane.  It's like a treasure hunt!  And they have tons of great big baby items and costumes and toys and shoes! 

And because I can't talk pageants with the Sugarbakers.  Designing Women NEVER gets old! 

And just like that it's mid September! This year is flying by! 

Let's Talk Gallery Walls

Small announcement:

Today will be the last day for the Show us your Life series for a while.  I'm going to take a quick break.  It will be back around December for lots of fun holiday link ups and I'm thinking the first of 2015 we will bring back Home tours - touring all the rooms of the home.  I don't want this to be a design showcase, My hope is it will be real homes from real people.  

Today is all about Gallery Walls.  Show us how you fill your walls with pictures of your family or art.

I'm wanting to change up a wall or two in my house so I'm looking for ideas!!! 

I love this one from Houseofroseblog.com.

or this one from The Nester. 

New Hearing Aids

Yesterday the girls and I left at 6 a.m. to drive to Little Rock for an audiologist appointment.  (Little Rock is about 3.5 hours away).  (Don't worry - I wasn't driving when I took this picture - I was in a Sonic parking lot where I was getting caffeine.) 

One thing we needed while we were there was new ear molds.  Up until this year, Harper would scream and cry and turn purple like someone was cutting off her leg when they did the ear molds.  I know the pink stuff must feel so funny but it has been a DREADFUL experience.  Yesterday, she looked at Mrs. Jan (our audiologist) and said "I need that pink stuff" and was asking to get the molds made and then smiled the whole time.  It's amazing what time and age can do! 

It's always fun to let Harper pick out what color ear mold she wants.  She has had pink and purple and sparkly gold.  She told me in the car she wanted white but last minute she changed to a sparkly purple color! I'm just thankful picking the colors helps her to like the hearing aids. 

We spent a lot of time in the sound booth testing out her hearing aids.  I didn't take a picture of Harper with her audiologist yesterday like I normally do but she is such a gift to our family.  She knows we drive a long way so she always takes HOURS to spend with Harper and does everything she can to help her.  She is one of the biggest blessings to us. 

Arkansas Children's Hospital is so nice and has a beautiful outdoor area with a playground near the NICU.  We went out there to play and take a snack break during testing.  Harper has to work so hard for hours that she needed a little time to run around.  And little sister has to try and keep still and quiet for hours in the sound booth - not an easy task. 

We have had loaner hearing aids for a few months while we waited to order new ones.  We had ordered these shiny purple hearing aids.  You only need new hearing aids maybe every 3-4 years and it's been less than that for us but both Jan and our speech therapists felt like a different pair of hearing aids might help Harper to hear and with her speech.  

Unfortunately after we did testing with these new aids, Jan wasn't seeing the improvement she had hoped for. 

So we tried out a pair like this that are larger and more powerful.  The pair we got is a shiny Razorback red.  Harper was pretty excited about it and didn't seem to mind that it was larger and heavier.  We tested with those and didn't see a great difference either.  But we are going to try them out for a few weeks and then go back in October to test again.


I try to gloss over Harper's hearing loss and tie it up with a shiny happy pink bow most of the time when I talk about it because 1. I know in the grand scheme of life it's nothing compared to what so many others are dealing with and 2. I want to be positive about it.  I feel like if we always remain positive and teach Harper to just adjust her way of life and that she can do anything anyone else can, it is better than to let her think we are sad or feel defeated.  (But I also encourage her to talk to me honestly about how she feels or if she is struggling in school or if kids ever make fun of her).

Yesterday, I felt a little discouraged.  I think in my heart of hearts I felt like hearing aids helped her to hear almost normal and I'm realizing because of the way her loss is, there are frequencies and sounds she will never hear correctly.  And that makes it hard for her when it comes to speech and learning and just every day life.  You would never know it if you knew her because she is always a bundle of joy and never complains about her hearing loss and her kindergarten teacher even told me she would never know Harper had loss if we hadn't told her.  She works so hard and is doing amazing at school.

I just hate the struggles she will face.  I try to put on a game face and know she can do anything but I also know there will be hard times ahead.  Her audiologist was so kind and so helpful and honest talking to me about options yesterday but my heart sank a little.

I think there will always be ups and downs on this journey.  Honestly for the last 3.5 years, it's been mostly ups.  I had a little down yesterday but we are just going to press on and do the very best we can to help Harper navigate life.  She will never know any different and I think she has great things in store for her.

Door Hanger Give away

Meet Emily! 

See her cute little boy Garrett? He went through a long, terrible medical crisis starting around his first birthday and involved several hospitilations and surgeries.  They accrued a lot of medical bills and Emily had to miss a lot of work.  So she got creative.  She began making door hangers and doing painting parties locally to try and make money to help pay off all the medical bills.  

How cute is this to hang every time there is a birthday in your house? 

Or for football season? (And she can do any school!)

My favorite is this pumpkin! So fall and festive! 

We are going to give one lucky reader a door hanger of your choice! You can enter below but if you don't win - how cute would one of her creations be on your front door and it would help a family so much.  

You can see her hangers here:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/bucksforbuckingham?page=1

or here:

https://www.facebook.com/craftingandcocktails

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Weekend of Happy

We had a really amazing weekend!  I'm still smiling! 

My dear friend Jenn has been battling breast cancer for the last year.  She finished chemo several months ago but has still had to take one treatment every few weeks.  She has had several surgeries and is cancer free!! But Friday was her VERY last treatment!! When you are finished you get to ring a bell and everyone claps.  I went to be with her for this and it was so neat! Jenn has had such a great sense of humor and strength through this battle and I'm so lucky to be her friend!

Friday night she threw a huge "I beat cancer" party! It was at their neighborhood clubhouse and she had a DJ and a photo booth.  It was a BLAST!! This is Jenn's mom and her close friends (and some of my great friends from church).  We got SOOOO tickled at these ladies because they were the first ones on the dance floor and were cutting a rug!

The thing about Jenn is they have only lived here like 2 years and yet she has a million friends.  That's the kind of person she is.  We were all talking about how if we had a party there might be 20 people there - but Jenn seems to know everyone in NWA.

We all had so much fun.  I even posted a little snippet of Laurie dancing on my Instagram.  If you know Laurie, you will know that's not a common sight.  We laughed so much Friday night.  It was such a fun night to celebrate a friend we have prayed for! 

We crammed into the photo booth.  Don't ask me what is going on with Laurie. :-) 

I'm so thankful for my friends. 

Saturday morning Scott took the girls on a little date.  They ate breakfast and went to a pet store and to Cabela's.  My girls honestly love Cabela's more than most grown men do.  They love all the animals and the fish.  And they came home with their own pink "play" hunting gear.  They had a great time and I had several hours to clean house in a quiet house.

Saturday afternoon, Harper went to her very first School Friend party.  Her best friend from Kindergarten was turning 6.  (I worried so much about if Harper would make friends at school and she has a whole list of friends.  I should learn not to worry so much.)  This was a frozen party and Elsa and Anna showed up.  Harper was SOOOOO thrilled.  She stuck to them like glue and was asking them a million questions like "Why did you freeze Anna?" and "What kind of car did y'all come in and who drove?" You can tell in this picture how happy she was.  And I loved getting to meet some of the kids in her class and their moms! (And Hollis went with us and was beside herself too.  She is usually terrified of characters so I was very proud of her to get near them!)

And then of course the Hogs won their first game since last September.  So it was just a perfect Saturday.

Our friend Madison is going to be in the local high school pageant (Which is a HUGE school and a HUGE deal).  They each have to ask a little girl who is in school to be their "Future Miss" so basically a little girl who they think might be a future Miss BHS.  The little girl walks them out on the stage.  Madison asked Harper today at church to be her Future Miss with a cookie cake.  Harper was thrilled.  I think she was more thrilled about the cookie than anything but wearing a fancy dress on stage is a close tie for her.

Mostly we are excited to see glimpses of fall being here!