Ever had a day where God spoke SO audibly through others that it was almost as if you could hear a voice booming down from heaven?
That was my day today. I heard Him so clearly this morning in our church service. I began to have words put upon my heart that I knew I wanted to share. And then through some not so pleasant circumstances later today - I knew even more strongly that God was speaking.
I have been desperate for Jesus lately.
I have had such a heaviness in my heart this past year. So many who are dear to me have been struck with tragedies. They have lost loved ones or have suffered through disease. I have asked God why so many times. There are so many things I worry about daily - both personally and also globally.
My pastor shared today in his sermon about Nathan Hale who fought in the Revolutionary War and before he was hung he said "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country." I think we all know that famous quote. And I realized that more every day I feel determined to remember I only have one life to live for Jesus and to make every day count.
I get that about 70% of you reading this don't believe in the same God I do or don't believe like I do at all. Actually probably 90% of you don't share most of my beliefs. I respect that. Most of you don't want to hear about Jesus. You read here for whatever reason - but you aren't interested in hearing about faith. I understand that.
But Faith is all I have.
Not talking about my faith is like not talking about my family ever or not breathing to me. It's 100% who I am.
I sit back and watch the Christian community (and the non-Christian community for that matter) debate and argue on every little issue under the sun. I have opinions but I don't want to spend my life arguing. I just want to trust God (even when it's NOT easy) and believe the Bible (every word) and live my life by it. I'm not a theologian. I'm not a seminary graduate. I'm not even a very eloquent writer (trust me - this I know) but I want to spend my life sharing the little I do about Christ.
I can't explain hard things. I know that God wants us to pray. I know He wants us to ask for things. But He doesn't always answer. I know that I will never understand the mind of God on this earth. I don't understand why one of my dear friend's 11 year old nephew is dying from cancer. I don't understand why I know several amazing girls who have lost their husbands too young this year. But I'm not here on earth to explain God. I just have to decide that I'm going to trust Him. I'm going to love on people who are hurting and keep praying.
I'm not going to sit around and worry about the what if's of life. There is so much I could worry about but I just remember that God is in control. We think we are - but we aren't. He is not surprised by anything. He's bigger. I just have to trust that He is in control and keep my faith.
Maybe that's naive.
Maybe that's a narrow world view.
Maybe it's close minded.
Maybe you think I'm just plain dumb.
Or live in a bubble.
I'm not going to spend my life worrying about what others think of me or who does or doesn't like or agree with me. That's not what my focus is on. I want to share the greatest thing I know with as many people as I can. Not out of thinking I'm better or "right" but because I genuinely love and care about people.
I want to know God and make Him known. I want to show God's love in action in my life. My prayer is that you would know God and know how amazing His love is for you.
I'm praying for revival. With URGENCY.
I'm going to leave the rest to Him.
But I am not ashamed! I know the one I have faith in, and I am sure that he can guard until the last day what he has trusted me with. 2 Timothy 1:12