Friday, March 07, 2008

Please Pray

I have made so many wonderful "Blog" friends over the last few months. I have especially bonded with a couple of girls who are in the same boat as me. It's been so great to have someone to share with who understands how I feel. I know ya'll have prayed for me so much and I can not tell you how much it has blessed me. I have had the greatest peace wash over me recently that can only be because I have "sisters" praying for me.
Two of my sweet blog friends have had really disappointing weeks. I want to ask you to pray for them. They are Godly, sweet women and my heart is just breaking for both of them. It would be great as you read this - if you will just pray right here and now for them.

Julie has been such an encouragment to me and last week she had something devastating happen that makes it impossible to get pregnant. They are now planning to adopt and she wrote the neatest post about God working through that today. Read it - it will give you goose bumps. Pray that she becomes a mother sooner than later.

Sarah is possibly one of the funniest people I have "never" met. She has been a HUGE support system to me. She sends me funny e-mails to make me laugh with an underlining tone of perfectly understanding exactly how I'm feeling. She had some discouraging news yesterday also and I'm just so broke for her but I'm also not giving up hope. I pray for both of these girls (along with about 4 others) EVERY single morning. And I will not quit praying until they are all mothers. I can't wait to see God work in each of their lives.

I saw this on a blog this week. It could have been written by me. (The age is correct at least and I only want two children). I thought I would post it.

"Children. I want children. Not just a baby. Not just a child. I want children. Three of them. If I were younger, I might want more, but at thirty-four three seems like a good number. Marrying a little late and moving across the country a couple of times as well as a long-running struggle to pay the rent delayed the real trying for a while.
The trying has been going on for a long time now. Not as long a many of you, but much longer than most.To no avail. No children. Not one pregnancy. I have never experienced that wonder of knowing that there is a life inside of me. Instead, there is a longing that will not be filled, that will not be diminished, that will not end this side of heaven without children to fill it.
Nothing else in my life has been as baffling to me as not being able to conceive a child. My emotions hide even from myself, spilling out in tears of sadness or anger at the most inopportune times. There have been no days of real clarity, no times when a light has come on to show the way—not even a little. But the mysterious and marvelous mercy of God has convinced me of one thing in all of this—it is dark because I am in that deep, hidden place under God’s wing.
Certainly, the inability to bear children to the glory of God is due to the sinfulness of sin and its effect on all of life. It is not that God punishes us by not allowing us to give birth to the offspring we most desperately desire. It is rather that we, along with all of creation, suffer the wretched consequences of the sin of our first mother and father, Adam and Eve, compounded by the sin of all the sinners who have come after them. And that, of course, is all of us.
Since this is so, I know that, as with all of life, I must not put my trust in anything other than God, even in the provision of a child. This does not necessarily mean that I may not use a medical intervention to try to conceive a child. It does not mean that adoption is not an option to pursue. Rather, I trust that God in His mercy has given us these means as part of His redemption from the effects of the Fall.
At times the knowledge that God has given His covenant of grace to believers and their children makes not being able to have a child even more difficult to understand and bear. God has rescued me from such a desperate place and has given me such a glorious glimpse of Himself that I want, with all that is within me, to see this passed on to the next generation of my family, my children.
My heart cries out, “Why, O God, will You not answer this prayer? Why will You not do this simple thing for me and for Your own name’s sake? You do it for so many so easily. Your marvelous grace. Why not to me?” With thoughts like these, it is easy to fall into deep despair, and at times I certainly do. When this happens, God in His time and His various graceful ways, comes to me to remind me that I am not alone. He does not, as so many do, tell me that “my time will come.” He does not say that if I will just relax and not try so hard, everything will be okay. He does not say, “If you adopt a baby, you’ll get pregnant.” He does say that He is with me. He weeps with me as Jesus wept for Lazarus. He reminds me that He is good and that He can be trusted with my heart. Any doubt of that was wiped away at the Cross.
He has given His best to me, His own beautiful, beloved Child. Will He withhold any good thing from me? No, never. Is Jesus enough to make up for this aching void in my soul? I do not always feel that it is so. But it is. Jesus loves me—this I know."
-Debbie Trickett, from The True Woman by Susan Hunt

18 comments:

Kelly said...

I will pray. I'm sure you are just as much a support to these girls as they are to you.

Sarah said...

Oh, Kelly. Thank you so much. This lady is such a wise woman. I love how she says God doesn't tell her to "relax," or "adopt, and you'll get pregnant". In 24 hours I've heard both a few times already.

The other Kelly is right. You ARE such a huge support. Thank you.

Shelley said...

Thank you Kelly - This brought tears to my eyes. I have two precious friends (one of them family and one of them should be) who have struggled with not being able to have children. I can not begin to imagine what thought filter through their minds every hour of every day. We had to work hard for our sweet boy, but still, nothing like what my friends (you included) are going through. I want to pass this on to them.

Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and honestly. Thank You. You touch more people than you know.

Heather said...

Kelly,

It is my honor and privilege to pray for you and your friends.

Blessings--

Heather

Lena said...

Kelly - thank you so much for posting this. I was just having a discussion with my mom today about these issues - I have to have a small procedure done this summer, and my worries have begun to take over my thoughts. I will pray for these women with every being in me! Thank you leading me to these women. Blessings!

Allikaye's Mama said...

I loved that post! You are in my prayers everyday since we started bloggin' together! I don't know if you saw Beth Moore's post (LPM) yesterday - but it rang true to me - and I know it can bring peace and love to all God's girls out there - no matter what challenge comes to us! The last line of it said, "The Son's just about to rise upon you." Aw! :0)

Stacy said...

Kelly,
My sister, Cheryl, shared your story with me and I am now praying for you and your friends who are waiting on God's perfect timing to grow your families. I have walked in your shoes and for that, my heart aches for you. However, I am excited to see how the Lord will answer our prayer! My husband and I waited 7 years for God's perfect timing and He doubly blessed us! We have 10 week old twins...Praise God! I couldn't see God's plan in all that time but then he literally blessed our socks off with these children. Keep faith and hope...God is at work!!!
Thank you for sharing your heart so that I know how to pray for you!

Shaking it up and making waves! said...

You don't know me but I happened upon your blog just surfing the net from one blog to another. I will be praying for you. Children are such a blessing. We just adopted a 15 month old boy who spent the first 14 months of his life in the hospital. I have 2 biological children but always longed for more. It wasn't meant to be until he came along. It is my prayer that Sunday you will be a mom. Hold on to that prayer. Take care, Dottie

Hillary said...

I'm praying for all of you who desire to have babies!

Leigh Ann said...

I'll keep praying for all of you, Kelly! That writing from Debbie's blog gave me chills!

Betsy said...

Wow! That was powerful! I love the honesty of it. You are so sweet to lift up your friends daily. I will continue to do that for you, too!

Faith said...

Kelly,
I can relate all too well with every word written. I have felt all these things over the past two years, and I needed this reminder of God's promises and that He alone is enough.
I will continue to pray for you and the many other women who are facing this same struggle. I covet your prayers as well.
Putting my trust in Him,
Faith

Jenna said...

Kelly, thank you so much for sharing this. The writing at the end was so very powerful and I know resonates with so many women.

I will definitely add Julie and Sarah to my prayer list. I wish all of you the VERY best and for all the prayers going up for y'all to be answered.

Love, Jenna

Lindsey said...

I visited your friends' blogs and left some encouragement. You are such a sweet friend. Take care and I hope you have a good week:)

Adrienne said...

It still amazes me that there are so many of "us" out there! Why haven't we talked about this before? We need support and to not feel so alone. You're so courageous to put your story out there and be a support for others! Praying for "us"!

Megan L Hutchings said...

Kelly ~ thank you so much for posting this. It was extremely beautiful, and a good reminder of how blessed I am to have given birth to Vance. I will continue to pray...for you, for your friends, and for the many women who struggle with these same issues!

Caroline said...

Psalm 5:11-12

" But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may REJOICE IN YOU. For surely, O Lord, you bless the rightous; YOU SURROUND THEM WITH YOUR FAVOR AS WITH A SHIELD".

Praying for you all!!!!

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog from BooMama.
This post struck such a cord with me. I battled infertility for a year and a half, some of that was denial, some was sheer anger, whining, and pleading with God. I took Clomid for 5 cycles (some "worked;" some didn't). I decided the 5th would be the last; I couldn't take the disappointment anymore, was looking into adoption.
Next thing I know, coworkers are asking if I'm pregnant...still denial...Take a test, and it's like a neon sign on there!!
My daughter turns 4 on Wednesday. Her brother turned 2 in November (We wanted to try when #1 was young...just in case...got pregnant the first try). Just found out last week that I am pregnant again, probably due in November, but miscarried twins on Christmas Eve just a few months ago.
I've been on both sides of the coin. No side is easier than the other. It's amazing alone you feel, like you are the only one, but I know there are countless women out there who share the desires of your heart, feel the hurt, disappointment, inadequacy. I have felt those feelings too.
You and your friends are such a testimony of sincere faith, service, and your transparency will minister to so many of them. I will absolutely pray for you all, and thanks for sharing.