One of the things that drives me the most crazy is when I'm having the most particularly difficult day struggling with toddlers and an older mom will say "Oh you will miss this one day. I wish I could go back to having young kids". Don't get me wrong - it's not the moms that say this that bug me. I can GUARANTEE that 10 years from now I will be saying the exact same things.
It's just that having two small kids can be exhausting and hard and there are times I honestly can't imagine I will ever miss these days. I just tell myself how much easier it will be in 3-5 years.
And then Harper will sit in my lap and tell me I'm her best friend and Hollis will nuzzle me and put her head on my chest and say "I wuv you". And I DO know how precious these days are. There are moments I want to run away and there are moments I want to freeze time.
Harper is turning four next week and it's making me more sentimental than usual. I was trying to tell her how she used to be my little baby and how I would sit and hold her all day. I miss those days so much. I've totally forgotten how she was up every 2 hours at night or how she would never nap or how she would scream all day until I would just walk around with her and both of us would be crying. All I remember is how sweet that time was. And I miss it SO much.
Hollis has entered the terrible two's with a vengeance and thankfully we have already been there. I have to constantly remind Scott that Harper acted just like that. We have forgotten because now that she is amost four - she is SO much easier. She's not perfect but she's so sweet and mostly well behaved and I have forgotten how she used to throw fits and scream and act terrible. I thought she was going to kill me when she was two. But we survived. And now I know I will survive Hollis being two also.
It's funny how we tend to forget the tough times and cling to our happy memories. There are days I miss being single and being able to watch Lifetime movies all day if I wanted and eat cookie dough for lunch and no one was waiting for me to fix their dinner. I have forgotten how lonely and sad I was and how much time I spent crying thinking I would never find someone.
There are things I have been through - small illness or rough financial patches or hard stressful work situations that I was sure I would never overcome and yet I can barely remember those moments anymore.
And yes I look forward to my girls being older and easier - and yet I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will miss these precious little preschool moments so much I will ache.
My word for 2013 is TREASURE. I'm doing my best not to wish away the time or worry about tomorrow. I'm hoping this year I will treasure the special moments so ten years from now I won't regret or wish I could do things differently.
And yes - I really will miss this.
