Harper is turning four next week and it's making me more sentimental than usual. I was trying to tell her how she used to be my little baby and how I would sit and hold her all day. I miss those days so much. I've totally forgotten how she was up every 2 hours at night or how she would never nap or how she would scream all day until I would just walk around with her and both of us would be crying. All I remember is how sweet that time was. And I miss it SO much.
Hollis has entered the terrible two's with a vengeance and thankfully we have already been there. I have to constantly remind Scott that Harper acted just like that. We have forgotten because now that she is amost four - she is SO much easier. She's not perfect but she's so sweet and mostly well behaved and I have forgotten how she used to throw fits and scream and act terrible. I thought she was going to kill me when she was two. But we survived. And now I know I will survive Hollis being two also.
It's funny how we tend to forget the tough times and cling to our happy memories. There are days I miss being single and being able to watch Lifetime movies all day if I wanted and eat cookie dough for lunch and no one was waiting for me to fix their dinner. I have forgotten how lonely and sad I was and how much time I spent crying thinking I would never find someone.
There are things I have been through - small illness or rough financial patches or hard stressful work situations that I was sure I would never overcome and yet I can barely remember those moments anymore.
And yes I look forward to my girls being older and easier - and yet I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will miss these precious little preschool moments so much I will ache.
My word for 2013 is TREASURE. I'm doing my best not to wish away the time or worry about tomorrow. I'm hoping this year I will treasure the special moments so ten years from now I won't regret or wish I could do things differently.
And yes - I really will miss this.