Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What lies ahead

I feel like God has really given me encouragement as a mom lately.

I'm not one of those moms that feels tied to a timeline with my kids.  I just don't feel like I need to do everything "by the book" and yet - it's hard when you are with friends or read blogs or Facebook or twitter to not get worried if your kids aren't doing something other kids their age should be doing. It's hard not to second guess yourself as a mom and think "Am I doing it all wrong?"

I've gotten a new perspective in the last few weeks that has helped me so much.  I've just been learning how quickly time goes and how the little molehills I keep making mountains out of usually end up being really small.

I can think of so many examples that just worried me to death while we were there and now seem like so long ago.  I thought Harper would NEVER sleep through the night. And now she is sleeping so much I can't get her up in the morning. I have to drag her out of bed at 9.  You could have never told me that when she was 18 months.  But boy does it help when me stay calm when Hollis gets up 4-5 times at night. I know that it might take a few more months but by the time she is 3 - she will probably sleep too.

Harper was so attached to her pacifier that I thought she would never want to get rid of it. And some of y'all harassed me to death about it. But I look back now and she was barely 2 when we got rid of it and just a baby.  And she has great teeth and hasn't asked for the paci since. So I'm not going to sit around worrying about when to take it from Hollis - we will do it and she won't go to preschool or kindergarten with it.

I'm so worried right now about Harper being 100% potty trained by August in time for preschool. I'm working on it every day with her and I just keep wondering "what if"? But I've been trying to realize this week that when she is 6 - we will look back and think - "that wasn't a big deal - it all worked out".

I think that's not just something God is working on in my mothering but something he's been weaving as a theme through my life.  I spent days, months, and years crying and stressing and wondering if he would EVER bring me a husband. I spent day after day after day crying and PLEADING with him to PLEASE give me a baby.  And He did.  He has ALWAYS provided. We have worried through financial things and through job changes. But God always provides. It's not always the way we would have done it in our human ways or the way we might have imagined - but He is always there.  Some of the things that caused me to lay awake at night scared to death have come and gone and Jesus pulled me through.

There are days that I am gripped with fear for our future. What if Scott loses his job? What if one of us gets sick? What if something happens to the girls? But the one thing I always come back to is God has been with us through every event in our life - big or small and He will be there again.  And we will look back one day and those mountains we thought we could never climb will just be little dots on our journey in life.

I'm thankful for the perspective of being at the end of one road to look back and see how I was carried to give me the strength to know I can go down the next road - whatever may lie ahead.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.

 Therefore we will not fear, 
Psalm 46:1-2

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