Sunday, December 18, 2011

Random Thoughts and Confessions

My blog friend Erin has a thing where she posts "Confessions" from time to time. I always get a kick out of reading them.  I sort of felt like spitting out a whole list of my confessions and random thoughts today.
If you ever wondered if I was kind of will be confirmed after you read this list.

1. I'm obsessed with salt and vinegar chips. OBSESSED. I could eat fourteen tons. I love how they sting my lips they are so salty. I've got Scott on board with my obsession which is not good because now we fight over the chips when they are in the house.

2. To go along with the previous thought..............(and PLEASE PLEASE don't leave me any comments that say "Oh you look so good".....that is NOT why I am writing this).  I'm usually okay with how I look but right now I look in the mirror and don't know who I am. I'm about 25 pounds heavier than I'd like to be and I have wrinkles starting to pop up. I just don't like how I look right now. It's something I just need to get motivated to work on. I just got new tennis shoes.....maybe that will make me do something about it. I hate worrying about my weight.

3. Sometimes (not too often....but sometimes) I really miss working. I love staying home with my girls and I'm SOOOO thankful that I'm able to but there are times when I miss working. I miss meetings and business trips and the thrill of tracking big sales and planning strategies. I miss going to an office and having work friends and going to lunch with those work friends every day. I've got my dream "job" right now though.

4. I'm super paranoid about Hollis not being able to hear. She tested normal and I know she is fine but I find myself saying her name real loud to make sure she turns her head all the time. I know it's crazy but after Harper - I just worry. Even though I have no reason to.

5.  I've worn the same lipstick for the last 8 years. Merle Norman Spice Sachet lip pencil.  I took about a year hiatus where I tried all kinds of different lipsticks from Wal-Mart, Target, Ulta and Sephora and ultimately I came full circle back and realized the right color had been there all along. :-) May it never be taken off the market.

6.  If there was any wish I had - I wish I could sing really well. I would love to sing in church and tour and sing in concerts. I need to find a new dream. :-)

7.  I LOVE cheesy Lifetime Christmas movies. LOVE.

8.  I'm turning 38 this week and it's really freaking me out. I just don't get how I am almost 40.  It seems like I was JUST 18. I don't think I'm old. I love my 30's but suddenly I'm so stressed out about being so close to 40.  And this is something that is REALLY wigging me out........someone on twitter mentioned D C Talk this week and they were one of my favorite groups in college. I googled them and realized those guys are all close to FIFTY. Michael Tait and Toby Mac are both in their late 40's. That just doesn't seem right. I mean I JUST heard "Jesus Freak" in a store the other day. And it was just as awesome as it was 15 years ago. Most of the stars of "90210" are in their 40's too.  Oh and Brad Pitt is almost 50 too. Suddenly I'm feeling younger. :-)

9.  On that note.......I LOVE teaching youth girls at church. BUT teenage girls TOTALLY intimidate me. It's like I step right back into junior high angst. I'm old enough to be their mom but every time I'm with them - I feel SO intimidated and nerdy.

10. I feel like I'm a total slacker on the second child. With Harper - I dressed her up every day and put a bow on her head at ALL times. With Hollis - I let her stay in her pj's a lot. I even sometimes take her out in her pajamas (gasp!) I would have NEVER done that the first time around. I think I know that she won't like wearing a bow for a while but there will come a time when she is 2.5 - where she will actually ask to wear a bow. That's where Harper is now.  And on the same note - in my 20's I would have NEVER gone out in public without full make-up and a cute outfit probably including heels. NEVER. These days - I will roll out to Wal-Mart with my hair barely combed, no make-up and pitiful sweats. And of course run into every person I haven't seen in 5 years who will think to themselves how I've really let myself go. Including any guy I dated 15 years ago who will see me and probably thank God to themselves for unanswered prayers. ha ha ha!

I can't believe you just read that whole list.

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