Do you ever struggle with worry?
Worry used to be the biggest strong hold on my life. I was gripped in anxiety and worried constantly for years. I would wake up every morning sick to my stomach and go to bed worried. I can't even tell you what I was so worried about. It was horrible. After struggling forever - I finally came to realize that worry is a sin. It is not trusting God.
Isn't the God who made the heavens and knows the name of every person on this planet and the number of hairs on each head of each person big enough to take care of my silly little problems? Do I really not trust Him? And what good does worry do? All it was doing was making me physically ill and stealing the joy in my life.
I prayed and prayed over my anxiety and God finally took it from me. Sometimes it comes creeping in but for the most part - I have had so much peace in my life. I still have the same things to worry about - but I know that God is in control.
Last week I had a very sweet blog reader email me a concern she noticed about Hollis. She picked up on something that was a symptom of a child she had that she had lost. She only shared because she knew she would feel bad if she didn't say something and she wished people close to her would have told her when they noticed. I was SO thankful for her thoughtfulness to care about our family but I read her email in the middle of the night when I was up with Hollis and I'm not going to lie. I was GRIPPED with fear. I spent the next couple of hours so sick and just literally laying on the floor praying and crying. I don't think there is a mother alive whose biggest fear isn't something happening to their child.
(I wasn't trying to make the post about this. She just noticed it looked like Hollis' eye turned in which can be a sign of a brain tumor. Turns out she just has a little extra skin on the corners of her eyes which makes it appear that way for now - she will grow out of it.)
We went to the doctor today and everything is completely fine. Thankfully it ended up being nothing. I can't keep thinking about all the moms who don't end up with minor issues with their children and how they deal with it. Those couple of hours have rocked me on how much more I need to pray for them. I think Satan got his foot in the door with this small fear and pried it wide open. Last night I couldn't sleep because my mind was going 1000 miles a minute with the "what ifs": What if Scott lost his job? What if something happened to our girls? What if I have cancer? What if Scott dies of a heart attack? What if something happens to our parents? What if my plane crashes going to Ecuador? What if a piranha eats me when I'm on a canoe in the amazon (that one is really scary!)
I want to share this testimony about Compassion with you -
It's from Connie Terry:
May 4, 2006 I had a horrific car accident that required 5 surgeries in 3 years. the first 2 anniversaries of the wreck, I found myself dreading the day. Somewhere in the 2nd year I came across Compassion. I went to the website and found that you could pick the birthdate of the child. I put in May 4, and it showed me 3-4 children. Tania stood out to me, she is special needs and lives in Haiti. I had friends at the time who were adopting from Haiti and I daily deal with adults and children with disabilities.
I get the sweetest pictures from her and get so much more out of the relationship than she does. I would tell anyone to make the sacrifice to change a child's life. I am a Sonic junkie so for what I spend monthly on diet Cherry cokes I can pay for tania's school and basic needs.
After the earthquake in Haiti I was impressed with Compassion's commitment to the kids they serve.
Sponsor a child today!