Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting ready

Harper came home yesterday. She had a great time with my parents. They even took her for Chinese food. She had SUCH a great time that she was not thrilled to see me or Scott. She only wanted "Nonny". I'm just glad she loves her grandparents so much so it's easy for them to keep her.

I have had a lot of emotions lately about being so close to having Hollis. On one hand - I've been struggling with a ton of worry and anxiety about something going wrong with the delivery or something being wrong with Hollis. I'm trying so hard to turn that fear over to God. On Sunday we sang a song I love and the words say this :

I will sing praise, I will lift my voice,
I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice.
I will sing praise in all I do.
I will sing praise to you.

No matter the storms that come my way,
No matter the trials I may face,
You promised that you would see me through.
So, I will trust in You.

Wow - I sang those words with big tears coming down my face because I want so badly to mean each one. Something that has stuck with me this year is Kay Arthur talking about bad things happening and asking "Why" of God and she said it comes down to a choice - "Are you going to trust God or not?" If I trust Him - I have to believe HE is God and He sees the big picture and I just have to trust. So I trust that everything will be fine and I also know if it's not - God will equip us to deal with it.

I also am aware that I only have a few weeks left where Harper is my only baby. I know that soon I will be sharing my time with her. She may never know or remember but I will. I just want to treasure our last few days. I picked her up from MDO today and took her to get some ice cream and play at chick-fil-a. I love our special times together! I know I will love Hollis just as much as Harper and I can't wait for them to love each other.

On a totally different note - I started blogging for our local new station, KNWA, today so you'll have to click over and read! Especially if you live in NWA! I'll post a link on my blog so you can join in reading for the next few weeks while I blog there! :-)

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