I have had a lot of emotions lately about being so close to having Hollis. On one hand - I've been struggling with a ton of worry and anxiety about something going wrong with the delivery or something being wrong with Hollis. I'm trying so hard to turn that fear over to God. On Sunday we sang a song I love and the words say this :
I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice.
I will sing praise in all I do.
I will sing praise to you.
No matter the storms that come my way,
No matter the trials I may face,
You promised that you would see me through.
So, I will trust in You.
Wow - I sang those words with big tears coming down my face because I want so badly to mean each one. Something that has stuck with me this year is Kay Arthur talking about bad things happening and asking "Why" of God and she said it comes down to a choice - "Are you going to trust God or not?" If I trust Him - I have to believe HE is God and He sees the big picture and I just have to trust. So I trust that everything will be fine and I also know if it's not - God will equip us to deal with it.
On a totally different note - I started blogging for our local new station, KNWA, today so you'll have to click over and read! Especially if you live in NWA! I'll post a link on my blog so you can join in reading for the next few weeks while I blog there! :-) http://nwahomepage.com/specialseries/blog