Thursday, July 15, 2010

You take the good, You take the Bad.........

So this morning I got to call Lisa Whelchel and interview her. I was SOOOO nervous but she was so warm and sweet and made me feel right at home. My friend Sophie suggested I break the ice by singing the theme song to "Facts of life" right off but I was afraid she would hang up on me. I only had 15 minutes because she was talking to several bloggers today (including my friend Ashley) - so I couldn't get all the questions in but I tried to take several of your questions - I stuck with the topic of friendship.

(I didn't record our conversation and I tried to write fast so some of this is obviously paraphrased).

1. First I asked her if she was still friends with the girls from FOYL?
She said she sure is. She is closest to "Jo" (Nancy McKeon) but she also stays in contact with Tootie and Natalie! ha!

2. I asked her about making friends - how to do it - especially as an adult?
She said that it was easier as a young mom - because you could connect through play groups or elementary school things but her family moved to TX when her kids were in junior high and it was SO hard to make friends because your kids didn't need you to be with them all the time so you didn't meet other parents as easily. She said (and I liked this) - that you just have to take a risk and stick your neck out and invite someone to lunch or for coffee. You have to be intentional and purposeful in trying to make friends. Pay attention to who God crosses in your path and be willing to work to make friends.

3. I asked her about cliques - especially in church settings:

She spoke to me mostly on the perspective of knowing you are in a clique and said if you are - to be the one to try and stop it. Invite others in. Be the change. I didn't get a chance to really have her elaborate on being outside of a clique but I think that's a great topic of conversation.

4. I asked her about trying to maintain friends when you don't have kids and have friends who do or vice versa.

She said you just have to work on it and be honest with each other. Mothers sometimes will have to explain that things aren't super flexible but to make time for each other. She stressed the importance of having friends who aren't in your season of life. She also mentioned as moms to not forget our single friends and to make time for them.

5. I asked about how to balance friendships and family

She mentioned a book she wrote called Taking Care of the Me in Mommy: Becoming a Better Mom: Spirit, Body & Soul She said one of the best ways to take care of yourselves is through friendships. She mentioned several ways to incorporate friendships into things you are already doing - invite a friend to come to your kid's ballgames with you - invite a friend on a walk with you. Family is clearly most important - but friendship is crucial too!

6. I asked about how to deal with a difficult friendship - if it was okay to let go or do you just keep trying and hanging on?

She said the best thing to do is probably let go. But you have to do the hard thing and be honest with that friend. Explain why you are having to draw a boundary and can't continue the friendship. Let them know why it needs to end in a loving way.

7. I asked her to give me her 1 minute testimony:
She spent the night with friend when she was 10 and they wanted to dress up and go somewhere so they decided they would go to church. They went by themselves and she said when she got to Sunday School - she knew her heart had found its home and that from that day on - her life was about Jesus. She said He gave her a reason for living and she was so glad she found Him at a young age. (Which could probably explain how she made it though childhood stardom and came out in such a positive way).

8. I asked her quickly if she would ever write a Creative Creations for teenagers - and she just happens to be working on it now and it should be out in early 2012! So that is great news for all of you out there with pre-teens or teens!

I have to tell you - I never dreamed she had looked at my blog. I'm sure she glanced at it before I called her but she ended our call by saying "Your daughter is so cute and we DO look alike" and I nearly passed out cold. ha!

Remember you can still sign up to win a copy of her book "Friendships for Grown-ups" HERE before tomorrow night.

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