UPDATE: Thank you for your precious comments. I hope what each of you wrote will encourage every person who reads this. I talked to my dr's office today and they actually work with specialists in Little Rock instead of Tulsa. There is a doctor from LR that comes up here once a month and she just "happens" to be coming this Monday and she just "happens" to have had a cancellation first thing Monday. (It didn't just happen - God worked it out for us). So we will have blood work and tests done and she will help us with a plan of action. I feel VERY encouraged by this. I have NO doubt God heard all of your prayers today. THANK YOU!!!!!!!
But this morning I got my confirmation.
No Thanksgiving baby.
To say I'm sad would be the understatement of the year. I'm devastated. I don't understand. I don't understand why there are teenagers and drug addicts all over this world who are pregnant right now. I don't understand why just today there will several babies aborted because they weren't wanted.
I just want to be a mother. I want to carry a child in me. I want to have morning sickness and varicose veins and stretch marks. I want to talk with other girls about all my pregnancy issues. I want to deliver a baby and have Scott cut the umbilical cord. I want to hold my sweet baby and try to guess who it looks like. I want to get no sleep because I am up with them all night. I want to rock them and watch TV at 3 a.m. I want to watch them take their first steps. I want to hear them say their first word. I want to hear a child who belongs to me say "I love you". I want to be there when they pray to ask Jesus in their hearts. I want to see them get baptized. I want to take them to school on their first day and walk them in their room. I want to bake cookies with them on snow days. I want to take them to Disney world. This is the job I was created to do.
Please pray for me. I have to call my doctor today and I think I want to have her refer me to a fertility center in Tulsa. It's going to be difficult to have to start driving there for things but I think it may be time.
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18
But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. Micah 7:7
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. Proverbs 3:5