Monday, February 04, 2008

Hit Me with your Best Shot

Today is one of those days where you just want to go back to bed and crawl under the covers.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning at 8:30. I should have been back to my office within an hour but not today. Today was a day where things seemed to move in slow motion. I didn't see the doctor until about 9:45. Then I have to have a shot so that tomorrow I can have another IUI. Only there are manufacturing issues with that shot and it's like trying to find gold. I went to the pharmacy by the doctor and they didn't have any and said they didn't know who would. So I went back to the doctor and they called around and found some at one pharmacy in my town.

So I went there and waited 45 minutes for them to fill my shot. Seriously - I just wanted to scream "what are you doing?" I was so frazzled. Then I needed someone to give me the shot. I was going to go to a walk in clinic but they were jam packed with people and I'm sure it would have been an hour. So my boss called and I told her all the mess I was in so she said to just come to work and she or another girl I work with could give it to me. (They have given themselves shots several times). You have to be pretty tight with your co-workers to let them give you a shot in the the hip. :-)

I just feel like this whole fertility thing is stacked against me. Every time I have to have something done - something tries to get in my way - tornados or shot shortages. And I just start to feel like I have NO hope. But luckily (and I don't think it is my coincidence but by divine appointment) I am taking the Patriarchs study by Beth Moore and we are studying about Sarah who had a baby in her old age (she was in menopause). And God said in reference to her getting pregnant - "Is anything too hard for the Lord?". And again in Luke when he refers to Elizabeth being pregnant in her old age and even though she was barren - He says "Nothing is impossible with God". So I have to think that it is still true today. NOTHING is impossible with God! If it's His will for us to have a child - He will provide the way. I just have to keep my eye on the prize!

I hope your Monday has been better than mine.....................................

40 comments:

mer said...

So sorry your Monday has been hard.

I told my husband last week that sometimes I feel like I have to fight SO stinkin' hard for the things that bring life to my heart. It would be so much easier to throw in the towel than to push through them, but pushing through brings great reward.

I'm glad you stuck with it and I will be praying for you tomorrow too! NOTHING is impossible with our God!

Heather said...

Mer is right Kelly, nothing is impossible with our Lord!! I think about you daily and pray for you.
So sorry today was a tough one..tomorrow will be better!!

Boy & Girl said...

I'm so sorry your Monday was rough! Praying hard for you guys!

JenB said...

Bringing back memories here. I seriously think I said to a receptionist, "I'm never going to ovulate this month if you guys don't quit stressing me out!" Something about weekend appts, faxing records, and just general insensitivity---in a place where they deal with the fertility-challenged ALL DAY LONG! I'm pretty sure I blamed it on all the hormones. ;)
Consider yourself cyber-hugged and prayed for by this NC internet friend.

Fran said...

Oh sweet Kelly....
My heart is just hurting with you, frustrated with you, desperate with you, anxious with you, and hopeful with you!!

You cling tight to those scriptures over and over and over again.

He'll honor your faithfullness. He'll bless you.

Much love~
Fran

Tamara said...

Kelly,

I can SO sympathize with your frustration. I got to the point where I almost didn't want to mess with it anymore (even though I wanted a baby) because I was tired of the stress and emotional upheaval caused by the crazy things they were doing to my hormones. But my sweet husband kept encouraging me to hang in there, and he kept asking God to strengthen and renew me. Now (2 years later) that we've moved on to the adoption route (and I'm excited about it, by the way), I still find myself frustrated and wondering why the process has to be so difficult. God keeps speaking to me that He is still (and always) in control. Nothing escapes His grasp. I can rest in His care. I am praying for you, sweet sister. I have traveled that same road. For us, God had a different plan, but I absolutely know that nothing is impossible with God, and His plan for you is perfect. I'm hoping and praying you'll get pregnant, and that when you are discouraged by the difficult days you will feel Him holding you, and know His strength is perfect.

Jessica said...

Kelly,

I am so sorry! I know you must feel more frustrated and scared than any of us can even imagine! I hope it helps to know what a big fan club you have rooting for you! I love you as a fellow sister in Christ! : ) Jessica

Leigh Ann said...

Kelly,
I'm so sorry you have had a hard day. I'm sending you hugs and will be lifting you up tomorrow.

Mandy said...

I will be praying for you tomorrow! I wish you the best and know that God has a plan for you and as each day goes by, you are getting closer and closer to it!! Hang in there and stay strong (I know that is easier said than done). You have a lot of prayer warriors on your side!!!

Meredith said...

Keep remembering, like you said, keep your eye on the prize. God will make a way, Kelly. Love ya!

Kelly said...

praying for a good outcome tommorow.

Guy & Julie said...

Oh, that stinks! I'm so sorry about today...just one of those days to end it early and start fresh tomorrow! That, or else, treat yourself to some ice cream! Or fried pickles :) We are praying for you and Scott-I just pray that this will be the month for you!

Tasha said...

Still praying for you! Hope your evening is better than your day, today!

Meredith said...

I hate Mondays anyway, so sorry your's was so icky.

RachelM said...

I am so sorry, Kelly. I wish there was something I can say that would make it better. Just know that you have so many people out there praying for you and the IUI tomorrow. You are an inspiration to me and lots of others. It's refreshing to see you have so much faith!!! Praying for you and Scott!

Shell said...

I am sorry to hear you had such a rough day. I will say a little prayer for you tomorrow.

Sarah said...

Oh, I'm so sorry...I'm laughing right now NOT in a bad way but because I soooooooo get you on this! So many appointment days are Murphy's Law days. There's an intern doing the ultrasound, there's a traffic jam getting there, there's 20 pregnant people ahead of me, the utensils are too cold... Just kidding.

That study is so, so good. It's amazing how throughout her studies, the particular lesson will often mirror what's happening in your life. Be glad it's "Sarah" and not "Kelly" in the Bible...then you wouldn't get the "HEY YOU'RE JUST LIKE HER, SAME NAME AND ALL, AND SHE WAS LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS OLD!"

I'm rooting for the both of us! Let's get some "Team Baby" shirts printed up or something. :)

Sarah said...

Just realized how that sounded...I'm DEFINITELY not laughing AT you, just in total sympathy and understanding! (It's either laugh or cry, right? Sometimes both within a 2 second time frame!) I can only imagine how you must have felt about the shots shortage. I would have just cried and thought, seriously, Lord?! A shot shortage?! I started praying for a Godly sense of humor a few years ago in all situations, but I hoped He would just give it to me, as in "POOF! Here's your humor." I never guessed it would be an actual learning process! :)

Lisa said...

Ha! I was wondering who Scott was. Tomorrow is another day and his promises hold true!

Brandon & April said...

((((((((hugs))))))))) Kelly! For a little story...I got this totally awesome prayer journal on sale today. I really love the lay out. I've never had one so all of them might be this way...I duuno. Anywho, It has sections for date, new prayer requests, ongoing prayer requests, answers to prayers, and praises. Yourself and my friend Hannah (both of you trying for a sweet baby) were tied for 2nd (Marlee being #1) under ongoing prayer requests. This was earlier today before I read your blog. Im taking that as a sign. I'm believing God that I will be writing this under the answered prayer requests and praises section very soon: Bloggy friend Kelly - with child(ren)!!! Just know I'm lifting you up girl!

Judy said...

Kelly girl - We do have separate bathrooms (is there any other way to survive)? Of course, I have the "bigger" bathroom for all my stuff but he doesn't mind...he has the "pretty bath".

Judy

The Garners said...

Kelly--thinking about you. I am so frustrated FOR you in this whole process. All this will be a distant memory when you get pregnant and see the ultrasound and all that wonderful stuff. I don't understand why it has to be so difficult for someone so wonderful and so fit to be a mother. But anyway, I am PRAYING and HOPING and PLEADING with the Lord that things will work out this month. I want this for y'all so much!

Candy said...

Kelly,
I'm so sorry that you had such a rotten day! I can't even imagine the emotions you are going through right now. You are SO right though, nothing is impossible with God! I will add you to my prayer list and start lifting up your family! Your faith is such an inspiration to so many even through this blog to people who don't really know you (like me). Hope tomorrow is the day. :)

Cindy said...

Kelly,

I'm always inspired after reading your blog whether it's related to fashion, entertaining, or your faith in the midst of difficult days. I am praying for you and trusting God will give you the healthy little child you and your husband are praying for.

Caroline said...

"But you, O LORD, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Turn to me and have mercy on me; grant your strength to your servant. Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me". Psalm 86.15-17

Love you Kelly!!!!!! Trust him

Lena Warnock said...

You are so lucky to have so many women standing behind you during this rough time - just know that we are all praying for you! Remember the Lord is fighting for you - how amazing is that???

pinkmommy said...

Girl, I am praying SO hard for you today!

Cheryl said...

Thinking of you, Kelly. I know this is so hard and I just wish no one ever had to experience it.

I'm sending you lots of my very best wishes for this cycle!!

(ps...if you get a similar anon comment, it's from me! I forgot to sign in!!)

The Garners said...

Thinking of you this morning...

The Proctors said...

Ugh...that's just like a Monday! I hope that you have a better day today!! Thinking and praying for you!!! You are right...Nothing is impossible with God! It will happen, and I like to think it will happen SOON (like this month) for you and Scott!

Jill H. said...

I think you need some chocolate...mmmm... That makes everything all better. :)

You can do this!

Jenny said...

I've been thinking a lot about you today. You're in my prayers...

Brittani's Holding Little Hands said...

This made me extra glad that I mailed you the Scriptures today, although it sounds like you already have a great grasp of His power. You were on my heart today at Bible study when we were discussing that it is in the "waiting" that we come to know more of God. I'm praying for "your prize" as well as your wait!

Jennifer said...

Kelly -
Your time will come - don't give up!

Harris Family said...

I hope your Tuesday has been better! I still think about you and pray for you all the time! The Lord will bless you beyond measure one of these days!

Elizabeth Smith said...

Kelly,
I'm sorry you have encountered so many difficulties. That will just make me pray even more for you this particular time! I know the Lord looks on your faithfulness and is pleased. We'll keep praying!

LSU Melanie said...

I will keep you in my prayers...Hopefully you are having a more cheerful day today, judging by the # of comments left on this blog, you have so many people praying for you...prayers move mountains!

SnappyCasualGifts said...

I hope today was a better day. I said a little prayer for you.

Big Mama said...

Bless your heart. I'm going to be praying for you as you walk through this time. Maybe it's because I'm doing "Believing God" right now, but I feel like I need to tell you that God is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.

Amanda said...

I'm so thankful God is speaking to you through His Word. Sometimes if we can just hear the Lord's voice it can give us a big boost to get through something hard. I pray all this very hard work is going to result in huge amounts of joy for you and your hubby. God bless you, sweet sister!