Ain't that America

So it's summer and everyone seems to be headed off on vacations or weekend road trips.  

I think one of the most fun things about traveling is skipping the chain restaurants and hitting up the local restaurants, little boutiques and museums or other road side attractions.  

Since y'all seem to be from EVERYWHERE ..... I thought it would be fun to start a new series.  

Each Friday - I will feature a different state and on Mondays I will remind you of the featured state.  If you are from there - email me and tell me what's a not to miss about your state.  Give me restaurant reviews, shops we don't want to miss, family attractions, etc. 

And then I will set up a page with a link to each state and if you are traveling - it might be fun to have this to refer to.  Yes we have the apps like Trip Advisor - but this might be fun too! And I'd love to have people from all corners of the state tell me different areas and what is great!

So we will start with Alabama for next week.  I know a lot of you are from Alabama - so tell me the hot spots from Tuscaloosa to Birmingham to Mobile to the beach! Share your blog posts if you have blogged about your state attractions too! 

I think this will be interesting and fun!!! 

(And all the Canadians keep asking - it will take a year to get through the states so if the interest is still there - we will move on to Canada!!!!)

Moving on Up

Summer is in full swing which means we are having a lot of fun. 

Today is Hollis' best friend Joseph's birthday.  We celebrated at a party this weekend.  He is obsessed with tractors - how cute is this party? My friend Robin made those tractor and combine cookies.  I wouldn't even know what a combine is - much less how to make a cookie out of one but she's amazing! 

These two are stuck like glue!

We have been busy burning off energy at parks.  I'm trying to get the girls to play outside as much as possible these days.  

Will Holden is really smiling so much these days.  Especially at his sisters.  He just laughs and smiles when they talk to him.  I mean how can you not love this little Elvis smile? And fresh out of the bath pajamas? 

Things are becoming routine around here like getting everyone ready for church or school.  It's not always easy, but you find ways to make it happen.  Love these three! 

Last night was Harper's Kindergarten graduation. 

I wrote this on Instagram but I want to share again for those of you who aren't on social media. 

This time last year I was so worried about Harper heading to kindergarten. Her hearing loss had made her behind on learning letters and sounds. She even struggled socially because of her hearing. I wondered if she would need to repeat kindergarten. 
Tonight she had her kindergarten graduation. She's reading on a first grade level and does addition and subtraction. She only understands less than half of what she hears but she's determined and smart. I have no idea how she has learned so much with the difficulty she has. We have never let her think her hearing is an issue. 
As we walked through the building, kids kept yelling "Hey Harper!!!" I know more about every kid in her class than I ever dreamed because she talks about them all constantly. She is friends with everyone. 
And they gave a Citizenship award to one boy and one girl in each class and Harper got it for her class. I explained to Harper that was because she was kind and respectful and how that meant more to me than any good grade ever will. 
I wish I could say I was proud but it's more Gods goodness than anything I have done as a parent. I'm so thankful for this girl. 

I love this picture of Harper and her daddy. 

All my kids at the graduation.  Will Holden slept through it.  This is the nice age when you can take him anywhere and he will mostly snooze right through.  

And I wanted to say thank you for all your words of support and encouragement and agreement on my post about weight.  I'm working on making life changes and I will try to give updates.  I don't want to be annoying about it but I also want to share the journey.  So probably monthly or maybe twice a month - I will just share how it's going and what I have been doing.  It probably won't always be positive but it's not realistic if I act like it's completely easy.  Anything worth doing is never easy. 

Taking a Load off

This is a post that's very personal and honestly, I would normally be WAY too embarrassed to post this but I feel like there are probably a lot of people that "get this" and I also think maybe this will give me the accountability I need.  (I'm going to be REAL embarrassed if I write about this and then never do anything about it).

So..........

I'm 41 and I have struggled with my weight more than half of my life.

It all started in college.  I lived in the dorm and can sum it up in three words: "ice cream machine".  Or two other words: "Taco Bell".  I put the Freshman 15 on and then lost and found it several times over those four years.

In my early 20's, I was in the best shape I've ever been in but I also had no family and no life.  I worked every day and then went to the gym where I would work out for 2-3 hours.  I took classes, lifted weights and ran 5K's.  (Which aren't all that impressive but for me - it's big).  I would have probably told you at the time that I was fat but now I look back and would give anything to have those muscular arms and thin legs back.

My lowest weight besides high school was on my wedding day almost 13 years ago.  I weighed 45 pounds less than I do now.  In the early years of our marriage, Scott and I liked to work out together so we would go the gym at 5 every morning before work and then just get ready there and go on to our day.


But then......

My 30's came and I went on fertility meds for a few years which can cause weight gain (and did).  Then,  I gained 35 pounds with my pregnancy with Harper.  And I lost most of it.  But not all.

I only gained 20 pounds with Hollis but really didn't lose it.  It was hard to find time to exercise or even eat right with two toddlers.  And I found myself gaining weight.  It didn't help that I was pushing 40 and my metabolism basically had bit the dust.

Last year, I started going regularly to a gym and I was working out hard.  (for me).  But I wasn't losing like I had hoped.  I knew I had to change my diet.  So I did.  I went on a strict diet and started to see results.  I lost about 13 pounds.

And then I found out I was pregnant.

I gained 35 pounds this pregnancy.  But this was different.  It spread out all over me.  I was so grateful to be pregnant and thrilled for the baby but I hated the way I looked.  I reached a number on the scale I NEVER thought I would hit.  I could barely fit in even big maternity clothes.  My friends were all running half marathons and I could barely walk across a room.

I haven't felt like "myself" in years.  I know I'm older and I'm not going to look like a 20 year old again.  And I'm okay with that.  I don't have any desire to be in a bikini again.  I have wrinkles and crows feet and gravity has set in in many areas.  I just want to feel good about myself and not hate trying on clothes because nothing fits or looks good.  I barely recognize myself when I look in a mirror. I want to feel healthy and strong.  I'm going to be nearly 60 when Will Holden graduates from high school and I don't want him to feel like he has an OLD mother.  I want to be in better shape - for myself.   I'm embarrassed by how I look.  I hate going to stores because I feel like people are judging me.  Weight is such a difficult and personal thing.

I just hit the 6 week mark after having Will Holden so I'm starting slowly to exercise.  My gym membership expired during my pregnancy (which I was either too sick or exhausted or in pain to exercise) (excuses excuses) and then the gym went bankrupt so I need to join a new one.  And I'm working on making diet changes.

It will probably take time because I just want to do this the old fashioned way - diet and exercise -  but I thought I would blog about my journey now and then.  (I'm not selling anything. ha! Just humbling myself to make me stay on course).  Hopefully at some point I will get where I feel better and can wear my old jeans without having a muffin top and can feel healthy.

I'm middle aged but I don't just have to roll over and give up!  It's hard to find time to exercise when you have small children and it's eating healthy takes more thought and pre-planning but it's doable!

I just want to encourage any other women out there in my shoes that we can do this! :-)

I'm going to take pictures to document my journey.  So here are my before and afters so far.  Now I realize this is completely unfair since my before is a picture of me nine months pregnant but since this was the biggest I have ever been and I wanted to go down from there - that's where I'm starting.  And I'm completely mortified by these pictures but hopefully in several months I will have pictures that make the journey worth it.  And I'm sharing my weight even though 20 year old Kelly wants to die right now but I just want to be honest.  (And no comments that say "You look great".  Because that's not what this is about - it's about wanting to feel good in my own skin. )

My goal is to get back to my wedding day weight and then to just maintain and be active and healthy.

Anyone else fighting the same struggle?