I've been churning this post through my head for the last day or two. I received a comment on a previous post that at first made me mad and then hurt my feelings because I didn't feel like their perception of me was correct or true and it ended with me having an email dialogue with this person that made me feel so much better because I think we both saw where the other person was coming from and I was actually glad they wrote me.
I love to think that I'm true to who I am on this blog. I write about our days and honestly - it is what it is. I worked very hard at several jobs before I had Harper. I struggled financially, struggled to find a husband, struggled to have a baby, struggled with her health and so yes - I have reached a very wonderful place in my life where my days really are full of play dates and lunch dates and shopping trips and swimming pools and cooking dinner for my family and friends. Am I extremely blessed? Yes! Is my life perfect? NO! Do I EVER want anyone who reads this blog to think my life is perfect? NO! NO! NO! Do I put pictures of myself on here without makeup and crazy hair (which is how I look a lot of days) - Probably not because I'm just vain enough not to. But who does do that?
I have the same issues we all have. I struggle with my weight. I struggle with my looks. I struggle with all kinds of sin. I'm SUPER insecure in who I am as a mother. I lose my patience with Harper lots of days. I have days when I want to do anything but chase a toddler all day. I have fights with Scott. But at the end of the day - my blog is something I do for myself more than anything and I want to remember the good things.
I'm also a very Half Glass Full kind of girl. My family is a positive family who always looks for the best in everything and so am I. I'm not a person who is naturally going to get on here and complain. First of all - my perspective is on other countries and families struggling with sick children or their own health or financially and I know without a doubt I have NOTHING to complain about. I also think of all the girls who read this blog who want nothing more than to be a wife and/or a mother and I'm praying so hard for them and I feel like it would be a slap in the face to be complaining about my family when I want to encourage them instead. And last - Scott and Harper are my world. They both might make me crazy at times but this is not the place for me to air our dirty laundry. That's not healthy for my marriage or for my daughter.
I do try to be open about my struggles as a parent. I was open about my struggle with infertility. I try to be as open of a book as I can be. I know that my life is nothing without Jesus. He is my source of joy. I live by the verses 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice ALWAYS, pray without ceasing, in EVERYTHING give thanks."
I know that a LOT of you reading this live in different parts of the country or different parts of the world and my life seems strange to you. That doesn't make it NOT real - it just makes it different. I would probably think your world was strange or not real. ha!
This is a long rambling post and all I really want to say is - I'm SO thankful for my life. I AM extremely blessed. I waited so long to be a mother and a wife that I treasure EVERY second and maybe I seem a little too "Pollyanna" for some people but it's really who I am. NEVER compare your life to another. I am no better than anyone who reads this blog and I promise I don't think I am. The last thing I would ever want from anyone who reads this blog is for someone to think "well - her life is just perfect" because come spend a day with me. ha!
But life is TOO short to be unhappy or angry or bitter. Find happiness in the small things. I don't write this so you will leave comments saying "you do seem real" or to justify me. I just REALLY want anyone who reads this blog to know that I share the same struggles with you and never think for a minute that my life is perfect or that I am perfect or that I am in any way bragging about my life. It's just a hard line between sharing the best of your life and coming across as everything is perfect.
How real are you on your blog? I'm curious if you put the highlights or the nitty gritty? And what does "being real" mean to you?