My sweet baby girl -
Today (the 16th) - you will be one year old at 7:03 p.m. I will never forget the night before you were born. I packed my bag and lugged my HUGE stomach into bed and laid there awake most of the night wondering what you would be like and who you would look like and trying to believe that the next day I would finally become a MOM!
We had to get up early that Friday morning at 4 a.m. so I could fix my hair and make-up just so so you would be happy to see me when you came out. ha! It was a cold day and we drove to the hospital in the dark. I was so scared of what it would be like to deliver a baby but it was SO much easier than I ever dreamed. I got my epidural early and really never felt anything. I had everything pictured so perfectly in my head.
I had made all kinds of cute cookies for all the visitors we were going to have and goody bags for nurses. Your daddy didn't even pack a bag because he was going to get us both settled and then go home and check on Dawson and bring me some food and his clothes back with him. I was excited about all the cute pictures we would take after you were born and having the Grandparents hold you for the first time.
They say that the birth of your child is the best day of your life. Well, for me it was the absolute worst day of my life. Not because of you. But because instead of taking lots of pictures and holding you on my chest and watching you sleep in our room - you came out blue and not breathing. And you could have cut the tension in the room with a knife. Instead of celebrating your birth - I had a doctor standing by my bed saying you would likely not live and there was nothing more he could do for you there. Instead of swaddling you and holding you - they were wheeling you in in a tiny glass incubator and putting you on a helicopter to send you to another state. Instead of me and daddy having a great time in the hospital room that night and celebrating your birth - he was following your helicopter and I was left all alone crying through the night - scared to death I wouldn't get to keep you.
But we were so blessed and you got better. The day you were born was the worst day of my life. But 10 days later - when you opened your eyes and I got to see your sweet face for the first time - that was the best day! And when you were 12 days old - I finally got to hold you for the first time and that is a day I will NEVER forget.
Your time in the NICU was a hard, scary time but it was also a wonderful time. Because it was a time when we saw God in the flesh. You were prayed for my thousands of people all over the world. We witnessed the kindness of strangers first hand. Our friends and family and church members drove to see us and prayed for us. So many blog readers who I don't know if they even read this blog anymore but I can tell you right now -each of you that came to see us - I think about you EVERY SINGLE DAY! I thank God for your kindness. All the sweet strangers who sent us packages and cards - I think of you every day and I am inspired by you.
I never dreamed that I would love my child as much as I love you. All my life I have dreamed of becoming a mom. I never thought I would be 35 before that dream became a reality but every day with you has been sweeter than the day before. It's been hard. You weren't an easy baby and you still don't sleep very well. But I would give up sleep forever to look at your precious face. I think you are the sweetest, cutest little girl I've ever seen in my life. Your smile is the best thing and your laugh is the best music. You will never understand as long as you live just how much your daddy and I love you.
So today we are going to celebrate your little life. You have brought us so much joy I can't even begin to share half of it. I thank Jesus every single day for allowing me to be your mom and for blessing me with you. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving you!
You are getting to be chubby! You weigh a little over 23 lbs. I'll find out your stats this week at your one year appointment.
You LOVE to eat and pretty much eat everything but meat. You spit meat out and make terrible faces. I'm not so sure about that. You do seem to have a sweet tooth!
You are so close to walking. You can push things around and walk behind them and you have taken 1-2 steps. You can get around this house fast though. You are constantly into everything. You want to get into the trash can and the pantry the most.
You still don't say many words. You babble constantly but mostly just say "hi", "dad-da" and "uh-oh". I know you will talk on your own time.
You wave, point, shake your head no, do your hands out when you say "hi", and smile all the time.
Everywhere we go people stop me to say how cute you are and I can't help but be so proud. Not because my baby is "cute" but because I know you are a sweet, happy baby and I pray you will be a kind, loving girl and woman!
You go to bed at 6 and sleep until 7:30 but you usually get up at least twice and lately you have been getting up every 3 hours. We are going to be working on that this week! :-)
You take a good 2 hour morning nap each day.
Happy Birthday to the most precious little girl I know!!! I love you so much!