Monday, November 24, 2008

33 weeks

33 weeks
Harper weighs almost 4 pounds - like a pineapple!
(which makes me think of my favorite place on earth - Hawaii!)

I can't believe we only have 7 weeks left!
I'm starting to get freaked out. I feel like I have so much to do and get ready before she can come. I mean I would love to see her sweet face today if she wanted to come now but the control freak in me needs to have everything completely organized, the baby book all ready, our bags all packed, her clothes all washed and organized by size, a list of all the pictures we want to take in those first few days, meals made and frozen to eat those first weeks, and 10,000 other things I think need to be done before she gets here.

People ask me if I'm scared of delivery. I'm really not (I think that answer will change once I actually go into labor or after we go to childbirth classes next week). The only thing I'm afraid of is not getting that precious epidural. As long as I have that - I think I can handle it.

What I AM scared of - TERRIFIED actually - is being her MOM! I'm scared to death of being in charge of this little life. I worry that I won't do the right things or start her off right from the beginning. That I'll mess something up from the beginning and never be able to reverse it. I'm scared I won't make all of her childhood memories perfect. That I'll forget things like leaving cookies out for Santa or making traditions just for our family or carving the perfect pumpkin. I'm afraid I'll forget to take pictures that I wanted to take. I'm afraid I won't praise her enough and help her to have a good self esteem or that I'll praise her too much and make her a spoiled brat. I'm afraid I'll cross the fine line of wanting to give her the WORLD and teaching her that we already have more than we need. I'm afraid I'll want to shelter her from ever experiencing rejection or failure but I won't equip her to know that life isn't fair and she won't always get everything she wants. I'm afraid I'll dress her up like a princess every day and won't remember to tell her that "pretty is as pretty does" and that kindness is more important than looks any day. I'm scared of her getting hurt. I'm scared of feeding her too much or not enough at first. I'm afraid that because I don't like to read books that I won't use the right parenting methods and she'll be that child that teachers and Sunday School teachers see coming and say to themselves "Oh dear - here comes the Stamps girl". ha! When I was younger and not even married (and maybe even last year) - I had ALL the answers on how to be a good parent. ha! But now that I am about to be one - I feel like I know nothing.

Last night in my Beth Moore Bible Study - we were talking about what makes us feel insecure and another young mom mentioned "parenting". OH BOY - I am just entering that world and I already feel so insecure. I know it's the tendency of moms every where to compare their child to others. Are they talking at the right age, walking when they should, reading when they should, speaking a foreign language at 3? I think deep down we all want to feel like we are doing the best for our children and we all have different ways of doing it. As Beth would say "Does anyone here know what I am saying?Am I talking to ANYONE?"

On a completely different note - I got the sweetest package from Cena today and I just had to share what she sent.

This neat little pink and green sign that I can hang in the nursery and this precious book!
And what a cute idea - little washcloths put on spoons to look like lollipops!

And just to show you God's goodness and perfect timing - I wrote all the above earlier and then came home and before I could post - opened a package from a sweet friend, Catherine, who had sent me this book. It is full of prayers to pray over our children. It's by the same lady who wrote "Power of a Praying Wife" (which I highly recommend). Just exactly what I needed!
Thank you Jesus I don't have to do this alone - you are with me guiding me!

75 comments:

Mandi said...

I'm right there with you feeling all of those same insecurities. I know one thing for sure...I cannot do it without God! Oh, how I need Him in everything...everyday!

I've been reading Praying the Scriptures for Your Children by Jodie Berndt and it is wonderful! I highly recommend any book that brings the power of prayer and the power of God's word together.

Love the pineapple picture!

Nick & Allison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick and Allison said...

Kelly, Just the simple fact that you recognize all of those things about yourself and what you want for Harper will make you an incredible mom!! She is so lucky and blessed to be coming into the world with such a great person on her side!
You will do great.
Blessings..
Allison

taralynn819 said...

I think something we all tend to forget to do, no matter what is causing a spirit of anxiousness in our hearts, is to take life day by day, hour by hour. It would seriously freak me out to see a to-do list for the next five or ten years of my life! I would either miss out on those five or ten years making certain I cover all the bases, or I would just give up and say forget it. You're right, once you see her sweet face, that to-do list will go out the window and you won't care because you are experiencing more life and more joy than any baby book or cute outfit could ever promise! So go take time to bond with your little karate diva TODAY! :)

The Garners said...

I know exactly what you mean--I think about a lot of the same type of things. BUT you are going to be WONDERFUL!!! And the good thing is that life gets so busy when they actually arrive that you have less time to worry about stuff like that and only time to pray in the middle of it all, "Lord, let the Holy Spirit guide me today and give me discernment and wisdom as a parent..." Then you move on with all the craziness and trust that God is at work in their little lives! (At least that's the approach I feel like I have to take...I hope I look back in 20 years and feel like it was an effective one--for HIS kingdom!?!?) You and Scott will be absolutely model parents and Harper will be the child that everyone talks about at church in a GOOD way! Not to mention how stinkin' cute she's going to look every single time she leaves the house (and even at home, I'm sure!) :) I think you're right though--delivery is the easy part...then it gets really interesting.

What sweet and perfect gifts that arrived for you today.

You look great! A pineapple IS such a reminder of Hawaii--it seems like just a few weeks ago that you were posting from there and now here you are so close to delivery!

Kim said...

I have been reading your blog and I just wanted to say that I am so happy for you and Scott. You look adorable and although I only know you through "blogworld" I think you are going to be wonderful parents!

The Garners said...

P.S. The washcloth and spoon "lollipop" idea is such a cute one--I'm going to try to remember that!

Tracy said...

I have been a lurker for so long ... after reading your post I HAD to comment. Sweet Harper was planned for you and Scott since the beginning of time ... she will be perfect for your family and will bring you joy beyond measure. Will you always do the right thing? Um, no. But kids are amazing ... they love unconditionally and forgive repeatedly. Treasure each moment ... my sweet girl is on the threshold of 13 (shudder) and despite my failings is an amazing God's girl! We can't all be Martha Stewart (how DOES she DO what she does?!) So looking forward to "meeting" your precious girl! Praying she will always know how much she is loved!

Rathi said...

Love the washcloths tied in the spoon! The sign for her room is cute too! Don't worry, you are going to be a wonderful mom!!! 7 weeks.. can't wait to see Harper's pics up here soon!! Have a great rest of your week and Happy Thanksgiving!

JKW said...

Oh Kelly...I think we all have the same questions you do...you will be FINE! You are right that all of us Moms compare our child to others and even compare ourselves to others. That in itself can be the hardest part of parenting. Just remember do what YOU & Scott feel is right for Harper...not what everyone else thinks. I too had all the answers before I became a parent for how to "fix" everyone elses child...oh boy...was I WRONG! Now my kids do some of the same things I said I would never have them do...it is funny. You have a tremendous amount of support as you are preparing for the arrival of little Harper...I know that you will be the best Mom. We are all here for you every step of the way...and remember that when your hormones are crazy for the first few weeks after delivery...vent and cry when you need to...we are here! I so wish I lived near you...your story has warmed my heart...and I love seeing your belly every Monday!

Big Mama said...

I think motherhood is the best, the scariest, and the hardest thing I've ever done. There is nothing else that will teach you daily dependence on God like being a parent. You're going to be awesome and He'll cover you even when you have those days.

And we all have those days.

In His Army said...

Oh Kelly, first let me start by saying you look absolutely wonderful in your red dress, growing belly, and fresh pineapple! You are doing great!

I completely agree with you on EVERY one of those things--it's like you took the list out of my mind and put it down for me. But somewhere along the way I have convinced myself that regardless of whether I do everything right or not, or remember to take the right pictures, etc. THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO FOR OUR CHILDREN IS TO PRAY OVER THEM, AND BRING THEM UP IN THE WORD, SETTING AN EXAMPLE FOR THEM TO FOLLOW. I am a worry wart, and I know that I'm not going to do everything right, so I pray over them constantly, praying that God will give them a heart that desires Him above all things.

Kelly, you will be a wonderful mother, and Scott a wonderful father. And Harper will grow into a woman that fears and honors her Lord and Savior! "Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he won't depart from it." And as Beth also says, "That's a promise Dear One!"

SAS said...

You have nothing to be worried about! You will be the best mother ever! Harper is such a lucky little girl! I love the book pinkalicious! It is so cute. (There is purplicious now too).

Jenna said...

I just love the pineapple picture! You look radiant as ever, my friend! And I think your smile gets bigger with each passing week. :)

I am so glad God is already showing you that He is on your parenting team big-time with the perfect timing of that book! Love it!

I can only imagine how scary it all is, but I KNOW you will be an amazing mama because it's definitely what you were created to do! Harper is a blessed little sweetbabe to be that "Stamps girl"!

Betsy said...

I think you are speaking for every mom out there. We all feel so inadequate in so many ways at times. But all you can do is the best job you can do!! Being a mom will definitely keep you on your knees. :) But, I am not worried one bit. You are going to be an AWESOME mommy!!!

Jilly said...

Not much longer now, and you look terrific! Make sure you take your baby book to the hospital and have the nurses help you put her little hand and footprints in there. And even if you don't get the epidural, you will do great! You can do it, Kelly...remember God's grace and mercy follows you all the days of your life. Everything will be wonderful...it will, it will.

P.S. Even my little boys at school love Pinkalicious -- super cute. :)

Kim said...

Kelly,
I have NO parenting advice but I do want to say one thing....you are going to be a GREAT mom! God has prepared you for this blessing. You'll be a natural!

Natasha said...

Kelly, you will be a great Mom! You will just "know" on some of those things you mentioned such as how much to feed her and whether she is getting enough or too much to eat.

The gifts are adorable and I love the washcloth lollipops!

Team Griggs said...

Moms all feel the same way. It's such a awesome responsibility to raise a little one. You will be a great mom because you are relying on God. He is the perfect parent and will give you the exact wisdom you need to raise that little girl.

I will be praying for you!

Shelley a.k.a. Momma said...

Those worries and fears can be endless...I remember having similar thoughts when I was pregnant and believe me, they continue! Like you said though, God equips us and I am so happy to know that he has my back! I constantly pray that he will take care of my boys when I am not there, when I am not fast enough, or my mind doesn't realize the danger! I guess this is one of the ways God will remind us to depend on him... your blog is so sweet.:) Thanks for sharing!

Jessica said...

I'm in the midst of it! You will be fine. God will give you the peace that only He can give. You will cuddle her tight in the quiet of the night and will feel His sweet spirit wash away all the worries. I cannot wait for you to experience it! : )

Kristin said...

All of those feelings are completely normal. I had never even held another newborn before I had my own and somehow when you first meet, you will just know exactly what she needs. You won't do everything perfect, but she won't care because she will know she is loved.
When my parents adopted me at a year old, they had nothing. They even had to borrow money to pay for the lawyer. It all happened so fast, but what they had was God's perfect plan being unfolded and so much love to give.
Harper is going to be so loved, so precious, and we will all be anxiously awaiting her arrival.
Don't forget to just step back and enjoy the little moments, because they just go by so fast!

His Doorkeeper said...

Kelly, don't you know I had ALL those worries and more when I had you. I had never even been around a baby before! The fact that you yearn to be a good mother is a good sign! Now is the time to just trust God! He knows your fears and He will be with you in every situation from the day Harper arrives. After all my motherly fears, you didn't turn out so bad if I say so myself!! Love ya, Mom

Well I Do Declare said...

I think this is my favorite pregnancy picture of you, yet! You look so fabulous!!!

Colette said...

Kelly you are going to be a WONDERFUL Mommy, I don't doubt that for a second.

All those things you've listed shows that you've already thought about them. There's no need to worry :)


I'm amazed that you're not scared of the labour, I'm even scared of the thought of an epidural! Makes me shudder just thinking out it.

P.S. Chicken Breast Supreme was GORGEOUS. Everyone had clean plates which is a rarity in this house. My Dad was gushing with praise and he's hard to please. Thanks!

Jenny said...

As a mom to 2 I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. I don't know you personally, but from reading your blog I can tell that you'll be a great mom.

Truth be told, you will forget to take certain pictures, you may spoil her a bit too much every now and then, life will get hectic and you may overlook traditions that you want to start.

BUT, (and I've found this is especially true with my 5 and 2 year old at this stage) she won't realize that things that you don't do. She will see what you do do together and the love that you have for her, her father, and our God - and she will know that you are a great mom.

It's a HUGE scary job, but you have God right there beside you holding your hand. You'll get all the important stuff done :)

"Dove" said...

Well, you're already thinking like a Mom. You have nailed all the fears and worries right on! Yep, they're real, and each new stage brings a whole new set of fears and concerns. So many of those fears will seem powerless once you hold that baby in your arms and realize that if God can create something so perfect, He can also equip you to receive His gift!

I often say if my poor kids can survive me, they will be well prepared for anything this world can dish out to them. Good thing God's mercy and grace is new every single morning!

Remind yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY that it was no accident God chose YOU (since the beginning of time!) to be Harper's Mom. You and Scott are the Mommy and Daddy he chose as the perfect fit for this exact child.

Oh, the blessing.

Work hard to get ready if that is what you need to do, but don't forget to take enough quiet moments to enjoy and savor this precious time in your life.

The Mrs said...

You are going to be a great mother because you will us God's wisdom!
That is the cutest book. I read it about twice a week to a little three year old I watch.

Jacquie said...

Update!! Love it. Love the pineapple. How "sweet".

Your mom and I had a conversation very similar to this today about parenting. We both admitted how we often felt we completely failed as parents, but always did the best we could.

I will say that the moment you see, feel, smell, touch little Harper there will be a RUSH of love like you never felt before and the worry will still be there, but the love will overpower it. You'll want to nearly chew on her (I don't know what that is, but most Moms admit to it) you'll love her so much.

There are no perfect parents, and certainly no perfect children, but God has grown you into such a beautiful and lovely woman (both inside and out) and your walk with Him will shine through in your parenting as well. You'll make mistakes, but the good thing is... love never fails!!

Sarah said...

I feel the same way as a mother. Thank the Lord I'm not expected to do it alone!
"He gently leads those that have young" Isaiah 40:11
Pray for His leading and provision and you'll never have to worry about your own!

Nikki said...

You are going to be a wonderful mother. God will give the the grace and the patience.

suzncasey said...

Oh Kelly,

I have been reading your blogs for months now and I can safely say you are going to be an awesome mom. God blessed you and your husband - he knew what he was doing.

My daughter, Candice, is due Dec 18th with my first Granddaughter Isabelle Rose. I'm so excited because I get to be in the delivery room with her. I can't wait for this amazing experience!!!

Remember, the pain is so short for a lifetime of joy (and since you plan on the drugs, you wil be just fine! LOL).

I see you love Christmas so much...well, every morning waking up with my babies is like my own person Christmas groundhog day (6 kids - ages 6 to 27 LOL - only the 6 and 11 year old are still home).

Blessings to you!
Suzanne

Vashti said...

Kelly... listening to you talk I can tell you are so ready to be Harper's mom! You are ready, you may feel like you arent,but you are in all the important ways.
When Martin and I decided to adopt 9 days later I was mom to a 2 month old baby boy! 9DAYS!!!!
I had nothing on day 1, by day 9 i had a crib diapers, some clothes and formula, was i mentaly prepared , HECK NO!!!! but you know what God is so good and He loves that little baby way more than you do and so He wont let you fail!!!
You are Awesome and you are already an awesome mommy!
Lets hope shes not shaped like a pineapple!
xx

Kim said...

My friend - you are too funny! I have no doubt that you will do a great job raising Harper.

But you did make some valid points . . . . I'm now questioning if I'm doing my kids right or wrong!!! Talking about insecurities! I have 4 - too late to be worried about that now!

BTW - tell me you got your package!

Kingdom Mama said...

Kelly,

I have no idea what you are talking about. HA!

You know the parents that scare me?? The ones who aren't ever insecure. We all go through that on a continual basis. It's because we care, and we want to be perfect for our perfect little blessings. But we're not, and neither are they.

Just point Harper to Him, and you'll have done well!

Marc and Charity said...

We have all had questions like you and thankfully God is bigger than any of it. I was so scared with our first, but you just take it one day at a time and pray for guidance. You will mess up, we all do, but His merices are new every morning!

Kimberly said...

Kelly, I didn't take the time to read all the comments you have received but I loved the last line you wrote in your post...

"Thank you Jesus I don't have to do this alone - you are with me guiding me!"

That is all you really need to know, seriously. You belong to the Lord and because you do, you have the desire to be a good mommy. I became a Mommy a little later than I wanted to, 32, and because of that I think I also struggled with not wanting to make any mistakes. I even joked about setting up a counseling fund with their college fund! ;) God will use even our mistakes to bless our children.We pray our hearts out and ask the Lord to cover us every day in our parenting,and He does.:) It has been the best blessing in the whole world second to knowing Christ and the gift of my husband. May the Lord bless you and show you His love for you as you realize the immense love you will have for your daughter. God is so good to us!

Janet said...

Know what Kelly? There are no hard and fast rules and as someone once said, buying the piano does not make you a good pianist! The most important thing is to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your little angel - and I have no doubt you will. The rest will follow - and I think you're going to be wonderful parents!

Billie said...

I shared this with another "scared" Momma just like you some time ago. Now, I'll share it with you...

God is giving Harper the perfect Momma for HARPER! Don't go comparing yourself to every other Momma and how smart/not smart their kids are. You are EXACTLY the Momma Harper NEED YOU to be!

Hailey said...

Kelly,
You are going to be a wonderful mother. About being scared of labor... girlfriend, once it begins there is no turning back so you never get scared. You are just ready for it to be OVER!
Will you make mistakes? I'm sure you will... it may be something little like putting a diaper on wrong or putting on a diaper only to realize Harper's little hand is wrapped up in the secure diaper. It may be something big like having a two year old that will not go to sleep on their own and you don't know what to do or what you did to make your child turn out this way. (Hello... I'm talking about me. Haha! We are working through it. It takes three days to make a habit and three days to break it.) ANYWAY! As a mom, I've come to realize everything is small in comparison to your love for your child. Things CAN be changed. Things CAN be fixed. Will you screw up? Everyday. But nothing that you do is going to be so dramatic that it is life-altering. You will be a wonderful mother. Harper will never know how lucky she is that God chose YOU for HER.

Kim H. said...

I think that if you weren't worried about all of those things - it wouldn't be natural.

God is with you and as long as you follow his guidance, and your heart... the rest doesn't matter. Harper will know that she's loved no matter what, and from there - it just builds.

Think about your own childhood - your parent's probably didn't do everything perfectly - but do you look back and have great memories? I'm sure that you do... and that's all that really matters. Love and good memories. :-)

JulieandRyan said...

Kelly,
I am a school counselor and am constantly frustrated with the parents at my school. I wish they cared a fraction of the amount you already care/worry about Harper. All children need to know is that they are loved and safe. The other things will fall into place! Enjoy your last couple weeks before she comes!

Mabry's gamma said...

Kelly,

Everything you posted are the exact same things that all moms (parents) worry about. Unfortunately there is not an instruction book or warranty card that comes with having babies (oh I wish). The instruction book would have been handy to refer to at every stage of their lives, the warranty card would have been for me, to go back and change what I now know, if only that could happen.

Everything happens for a reason, if we had not moved to State College, PA our oldest wouldn't have met her husband and so and so forth. As parents we do the best we can with what we have been given.

You have such a strong and powerful love for this child already and that is what Harper needs most. Your love for God and your faith will shine down upon her. Plus moms and dads come in handy for guidance since they have been there, done that.

Enjoy all the times you have with her and all the experiences, you are going to be a WONDERFUL mom.

From me to you...when the times comes for Harper to come into this world, you won't care about anything but seeing her and any pain will be long gone once you have that bundle of little love in your arms.

I for one can't wait to see her.

The Milams said...

We all have had these feelings at some point. (I still do at many stages along the way!) The best part of it is that your baby girl won't have anyone to compare you to!! I used to tell baby Zachary, "I am so sorry you got stuck with us...we're just trying to figure things out!"

When my mom left me all alone in Dallas with my newborn I was standing in my driveway crying "you can't leave me here with him...I don't know what I'm doing!!!"

Somehow I figured it out...you will too!!

BTW, I cried and said the same thing when she left me for the first time after I had my second!!!:)

Chele said...

Kelly you will do a fine job raising Harper! If I could give you one piece of advice it would be "don't worry away her first years"! When my babies were little I was a nervous wreck constantly. I only wish I knew then what I know now and that is to put my fears in Jesus and trust Him! If I had turned to Him in those "scared" and "worried" times I would have been able to enjoy them more when they were little.

I have got it figured out now though! Life is good and life is short, so ENJOY every precious moment with her!

I was so scared those last few weeks of pregnancy too! That is very normal. Hang in there and try to relax as much as possible these next few weeks!

PS "Pinkalicious" is a fave book at our house!

Sarah said...

Hi Kelly,
I've been reading your blog since around the time you announced you were pregnant and I haven't ever commented,but this post made me want to. I am the mommy of sweet 9 week old baby girl, and let me tell you- half of the things you're scared about doing, I've already done! But Harper already has a terrific mommy because you love her so very much. You will be amazed at how naturally things will come to you - and when it gets tough, you know that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. Dont feel insecure - you have been blessed with this little girl and that is because the Lord is entrusting YOU with her care because He knows that you and Scott will be amazing parents. Thoughts and prayers are with you as you get closer to meeting your little sweetie!

~Sarah

Stacey said...

The fact that you are so concerned about being a good parent...tells me that you will be an amazing parent! You care enough to worry about all those things, you will be just fine! Just pray and ask for guidance!

Jenna said...

Oh I feel the exact same way! You saw me at walmart having my mini freakout over bottles...and it's been something new everyday! Yesterday it was pictures...attempting to organize a list in my head of what ones I want to make sure we get, so that I can put it in the spreadsheet. I also just made a spreadsheet of what to take to the hospital! Ha!

Suzette said...

I can tell right now from the little I know about you just through blogging that you are going to be an amazing mom! You remind me a lot of a woman that I looked up to growing up! She had a certain disposition about her that made everyone around her inspired and wanted to be like her! She had class, grace, love for God, and an unconditional love for her children! I can completely see that in you! I have no doubt you will raise sweeet Harper to have great manners, class, respect for others, and most importantly she will learn the most important love of all and that is a relationship with Jesus! :) Just rely on the Holy Spirit to lead you and you will be perfect! :)

The Allens said...

Oh Kelly, I know exactly where you are coming from. But with Christ all things are possible. You have the Father of all Fathers to learn parenting from. He will not let you fail.

Jennifer Wiser said...

Hi Kelly,

You are an amazing lady, and you will be an amazing mom. And you're right - we do worry and fear about all of those things and even as your children grow a little older (mine are just 7 and 3), we continue to find things we can fear or question, but amazingly, our kids love us unconditionally through all our learning and are so quick and eager to forgive when we do mess up. They provide forgiveness quickly and then forget that you ever "messed up"!!! You will probably do all of those things at some point and then go back and recover - and realize most mistakes are easily fixed, changes made, and the best memories made as you grow and learn and change with one another as a family. That is what will make your family special, who you are, what you do, and together you will be, with Chrit's strength, exactly who He wants you to be for your sweet Harper. Happy Nesting these next few weeks!!!! We can't wait to meet your sweet baby girl!

Megan L Hutchings said...

I think it is completely natural to feel what you are feeling right now! Every mother new and experienced questions her abilities everyday and wondering if I am doing all I can for my child. The one thing that has always helped me through is knowing that I am not alone as a parent...my husband and God are there with me every step of the way!

Catherine said...

I'm so glad you got the book! I just love mine and read it to my babies now as we pray the prayers. As for being a good parent, God is the only answer for that. The journey of trusting him for children does not end with conception or with a healthy delivery, it lasts forever! He has shown me this in so many ways that I have to continually give them over to Him. Good news is, they can endure a lot! Love to you and Harper! Catherine Asher

Jennifer said...

I think every mom has these same fears and worries. I know that there is no way to be the "perfect" mom who never makes mistakes, but I know you are the perfect mom for Harper. As long as you seek the Lord's will for her life as you raise her, then I have no doubt she will be exactly who she was made to be and you will be the momma you were made to be! No one will be in a better position to love Harper than you and Scott and I know that girl is LOVED!

Your prayer life will totally change after she is born! I pray all day long about things that I never thought about praying before. Just this morning it was "Lord help his tummy not hurt from gas and help him to get it out"!Haha!

Robyn Beele said...

I am right there with you. The fears can become overwhelming at times,but I keep telling myself that it is normal.

The Murphys said...

You are so sweet! You are going to be the sweetest Mom EVER!

georgia tarheel said...

You make me laugh...not at you...I was/am you...anyone who thinks of the responsibility of raising a child has those fears. You won't do everything right, you won't remember to take all the pictures you wanted to, you won't be perfect...but that is ok. Little Harper is going to love you and grow into an amazing woman of God by following your example. She needs to see that it is ok to not have it all together or that there is not a need to be perfect...that there is love in the mistakes, the forgotten things and messes! She is going to be such a blessed little girl to call you mom...and you are going to do a great job!

Don't lose these last weeks in worries...cherish them, document them and pray about them. Then go back and read them later and see how God has already begun to answer those prayers for Harper!

Taylor said...

I'm almost positive every pregnant woman feels those very same things. I can assure you that once you hold that sweet baby in your arms a lot of them will disappear. It just comes natural, and you're going to be just fine!! You'll still worry....I know I still do, but as long as you love her more than anything in the world and provide for her she's going to grow into a beautiful young lady!

"J" said...

You will be a GREAT mom!!! You will be FINE!!! Don't stress over that!!! God has blessed you and he knows you will both make WONDERFUL parents!!!!!

I love the gifts and what a sweet book! The lolly pop wash clotch thing is toooooooooooooooo CUTE!!!!!

Francine said...

Kelly,
I just cried while i read this post. It is so refreshing to hear a woman who is worried over being a GOOD ENOUGH parent. We hear so much negative in the world today to hear you worry about being what this child needs is awesome. YOu have everything you need already to give you guidance and knowledge to raise this sweet baby the way you should. I have no doubt that others WILL say oh here comes the "harper child" only because they LOVE her so much.. Don't worry you will be fine and all us ladies will be praying for you...
Love and hugs,
Francine Howell

Trina said...

Kelly, I am a mooma of 2 (a 5yo girl and 3 yo boy) so I can say from experience, all that is normal. And it will never go away! LOL Seriously though, I was so terrified of taking care of my daughter when she was born that I had my sister in law (who was the nurse that delivered her) to spend the night with us that first night at home in case I didn't know what to do.

Parenting is something that in a way comes natural but then sometimes doesn't. You WILL make mistakes. And sometimes several in one day! But you having the desire to make sure her life is amazing is enough that it will be. She is super blessed to have you as a mommy and Scott as a daddy.

Just relax and enjoy the next few weeks. Once she's born the time will fly by.

Trina said...

Hmm, a mooma? That's what happens when I don't proofread. LOL Of course I meant momma. :)

Julia said...

You look so cute. And I know you're going to make a wonderful mother! I hope you and the family have a great Thanksgiving!

annalee said...

amen sister! i worried about each and every one of those things leading up to adelaide's birth. and then something strange happened... i prayed so much over not being a nervous, panicky mom. those prayers were answered in huge ways. i still have worry sessions for sure, i still foget to do things i meant to, i still make mistakes daily, but i can say once she arrived i feel God's peace about being her mom in overwhelming ways and He helps ease my self-critical nature when it came to parenting. sweet baby harper is going to be blessed to be in your arms for sure. and she has the even bigger blessing that you will teach her that we all make mistakes but God is perfect and He loves each and every one of us still- her momma too!

sara said...

It is totally normal for you to have these fears. I agree that it's much scarier bringing them home and trying to raise them than the actual labor! Having children is a very humbling experience. It's the greatest thing ever but also the hardest. Some days you will wonder if you are doing anything right. You will do fine though.

amy (metz) walker said...

You are going to be an amazing Mom to Harper...I have no doubt! God gives us strength in the measure we need it and I really feel like He's going to lead and guide you with every step!

Btw, you look SO SO SO cute pregnant!

ka1t_lyn said...

I have this sneaking suspicion that you are going to be an amazing mother to Harper. Just the fact that you worry now sows how much you care. I think you'll do just fine! :)

You are the cutest pregnant woman, by the way-- just adorable!

Carolyn said...

Just by reading that post I know you'll be a fantastic mother!

The Branches said...

You are going to be a great mother...no question about it! It's getting so close! Yeah! I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving!

Mandy said...

I think every mother has doubts about how she is handling things. It's what makes us good mothers...because we care enough to think things through. You will be a great mother. Don't fret if all of the things you want to do (like carving pumpkins and baby book stuff) don't get done right away. This blog will become a virtual (literally) baby book for you guys. I use my blog to record all of the silly things my boys say and do. If I didn't have it, I would never get those cute things down on paper!
Enjoy those moments after the birth. It is such a miraculous time. It fills you with awe and wonder that you actually had a part in making this miracle with God.

Katie said...

Oh, Kelly, you are going to be a spectacular mother...I have no doubts. And the fact that you are worried about it means that you are taking motherhood seriously! :o) There will probably be times that you look back and think or wish you would have done things differently, but that is the way it is. I remember feeling SO terrible (I mean...I cried and cried and cried) because I didn't dress Amelia up in her take-home outfit that I had laid out specifically for that occasion because I got sent home earlier than expected, I was exhausted, and just ready to be HOME! I boo-hooed every time I thought about it. (I am sure some hormones were partially to blame! haha!) Finally, I realized I was wasting precious time fretting over some of the things I "missed" and I was missing out on the most important thing, relishing the moment with my new daughter. As long as you keep Him by your side, Kelly, and train her up in His ways, you will do wonderfully!

Have a happy Thanksgiving, all of your family, too!

Mary Avery said...

You will worry about all of those things, but most of it will come naturally. You're going to know exactly what to do with precious Harper and the things that you don't know...pray about! Every mom thinks about these things, it's only natural! I'm so excited for y'all and this Christmas and Thanksgiving is going to be such a special time of anticipation and thanks as you await Harper!

Colin's Mom said...

I justed came across your blog from another friend's blog and just had to comment on this post. As a fairly new mother myself, I can totally empathize with every fear. I wish I could tell you that once you become a mother you'll suddenly be given a book with all the answers, but that would be too easy. We learn and grow from our mistakes and experiences. Like another poster said, the time will fly once you bring little Harper home and you won't have time to think of your fears. You'll face each new day with a renewed smile and a deeper understanding. The fact that you're thinking ahead is all that matters. The answers will come to you as the events transpire. It seems like you have a strong support system and keep them close by. Don't be afraid to use them and lean on them in your time of uncertainty! Good luck and I'm so excited for you.

Pam said...

Another book every little girl has to have is Fancy Nancy. You will love it.

Heather said...

Sweet friend! You are going to be the most wonderful mother! I have NO DOUBT about it! All you really need is to love Jesus, seek Him, and love that little girl. He will take care of the rest! I love reading your precious heart on this post!
OH-and I just kept asking for my epidural from the moment I checked in....I didn't want to miss it! I got it in the perfect time and labor was AWESOME!